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Phineas
I'll see your retarded baby and raise you a DEAD WIFE.
07:21 PM October 02, 2008
from twitterrific
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rafeco
Rumor: If John McCain wins the Large Hadron Collider will in fact destroy the world. It seems harsh but I think it's fair.
08:30 AM September 10, 2008
from twitterrific
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lonelysandwich
"We need to stand up and say Eight is Enough! And One Day at a Time, we can ease these Growing Pains! Benson!"
07:28 PM August 28, 2008
from twitterrific
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zeldman
When I see Facebook, I feel like Howlin' Wolf must have felt when he first heard Elvis. "They finally taught a white boy to do this."
04:46 AM August 22, 2008
from Hahlo
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anamariecox
I have an enormous cache of memos from the McCain campaign. I will upload them as soon as I get the scrolls unrolled.
08:16 AM August 12, 2008
from twitterrific
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anamariecox
That'll teach the French to talk smack. Tell it to the Germans, Pierre.
08:34 PM August 10, 2008
from twitterrific
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jimformation
When George Carlin was John McCain's age, he was dead!
11:19 AM June 24, 2008
from twhirl
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jimformation
To the last joke, the Wife-beast wouldn't let me write of her laryngitis: "It IS going to be a happy anniversary!" Damned censors.
05:40 AM June 04, 2008
from web
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jimformation
My wife and I have been married twenty years today. She woke up with laryngitis. God works in mysterious ways.
05:38 AM June 04, 2008
from web
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reidstott
America is the land of canned air, bottled water, and boxed wine. But we don't like being contained.
07:22 PM August 14, 2007
from web
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carolou
it's amazing how empty my life feels when my mysql tables are unreachable..
12:12 PM August 14, 2007
from web
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reidstott
If your present is a boat, then the past is an anchor, and the future is the wind in your sails. Cut the rope on that anchor.
09:20 AM July 26, 2007
from web
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reidstott
Up late coding, foggy head boding, coffee I am loading.
07:08 AM July 12, 2007
from web
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reidstott
Why am I the only one who's noticed this? TV's first gay character was Floyd the Barber. Oooooo, Andy!
10:30 PM June 22, 2007
from web
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reidstott
(sung to the tune of 'Mickey Mouse') ... C-O-F (F, because it's Freakin' necessary) F-E-E (E, 'cuz I'm Extra sleepy) M-A-K-E-R
08:06 AM June 05, 2007
from web
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reidstott
Stand not between my coffee and me, or I may part thee.
07:24 AM June 04, 2007
from web
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kplawver
"It's like you're this giant jackass pinata waiting for someone to beat the candy out of you."
06:01 PM May 25, 2007
from web
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reidstott
Irritating hum coming from my TV. Sounds like a fluorescent tube going bad. Oh, it's a presidential press conference. My bad.
08:15 AM May 24, 2007
from web
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reidstott
Your freedom will be curtailed, so that mine remains untrammeled. I'll let you know when it's safe for you to be free again. Trust me.
08:22 PM May 17, 2007
from web
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