RealSantaClaus
- Tired. Going to bed. Merry Christmas, bitches.8:58 AM Dec 25th, 2008 from Tweetie
- @santa You, sir, are a hollow sham, unfit to wear the suit.1:29 PM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to santa
- For those who asked: Rudolph's nose isn't the only thing that's bulbous and red. Also, you're some sick fucks out there. Stay away from my12:20 PM Dec 24th, 2008 from web
- I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to let the reindeer eat all that bean-dip at the office Christmas party last night.12:19 PM Dec 24th, 2008 from web
- @Adam Folks from Philly can choke on their cheesesteaks. Bunch of slack-jawed, lazy-eyed, liberty-bell crackin' crack jockeys if you ask me.12:06 PM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to Adam
- @tdaniel39 No problem. Thanks for not tipping the delivery guy too. It's not Christmas at UPS workers houses, clearly.10:17 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to tdaniel39
- @steph_rose Invite me over again and I'll show you. Q: can your wrists touch when your arms are pulled together backwards? They'll need to.9:50 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to steph_rose
- @smartasshat Touché, asshat.9:50 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to smartasshat
- @smartasshat I'm not inflated - I'm just big boned, asshole.9:23 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to smartasshat
- @rocknorris You'd be surprised how little there is to do between continents. Especially when I leave Africa, which will be in like 12 mins.9:21 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to rocknorris
- Our operation is impressive not for the volume of our toy production, but for our distribution.9:19 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web
- @steph_rose Teasing Santa is the second best way to get on the Naughty list.9:17 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to steph_rose
- @steph_rose Hey, you're the one who promised me babies. I'm just saying that I'll need to examine the factory before I commit to production.7:07 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to steph_rose
- @steph_rose It doesn't matter if the TV's on, since your face is going to be biting sofa cushion while I check to see if you've been naughty7:01 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to steph_rose
- @ronxo Look, we both agreed it was just a one-time thing. Stop stalking me already.6:58 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to ronxo
- @steph_rose The babies you can keep. I'll be over tonight to fill you with the "Christmas Spirit" - that's what the tattoo on my junk reads!6:57 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to steph_rose
- @dshowers1 I was going to fulfill your request, but I was too busy buying a fucking camera from @hotdogsladies. Here's that eel you wanted.6:54 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to dshowers1
- @iheartmaximus How about a fat old man with gout? Be over at 9pm. Have a few shots of tequila at the ready for Santa to steel his resolve.6:53 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to iheartmaximus
- @pauliewoll Why, uh, the suit you're already WEARING is, like, fireproof and stuff. Go, uh, try it out!6:51 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to pauliewoll
- @beagleman The best part about giving snuggles for Christmas? I don't have to make them in my fucking workshop!6:50 AM Dec 24th, 2008 from web in reply to beagleman
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- Name Santa Hussein Claus
- Location North Pole
- Bio I travel around the world once a year bringing presents to all the good boys and girls of Western capitalist nations.
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