readhislips
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Me: "The people next to us are listening to what we're saying & watching everything we do."
Nick: "Then fuck it, I'm scratching my balls."
1:50 PM Dec 29th
from Twittelator
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"It takes 13 hours to drive there. I found out by mistake."
3:20 PM Dec 28th
from Twittelator
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"Did I say that thing about 'scarf twins' in my head or out loud?"
3:24 PM Dec 26th
from Twittelator
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Me: "Why are you scratching your head like a monkey?"
Nick: "Because it itches like a monkey."
7:59 PM Dec 25th
from Twittelator
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Me: "Your eye's red."
Nick: "It's red? I don't remember rubbing it." (rubs eye) "Oh wait, yeah I do. This feels familiar."
7:52 PM Dec 25th
from Twittelator
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"His voice was so soft. Like if a pillow could talk, or maybe a small cloud. Like if a q-tip could whisper to you when you cleaned your ear"
1:19 PM Dec 21st
from Twittelator
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Nick: "Did you hear that? It sounded like The Incredible Hulk!"
Me: "I thought it sounded like a p (cont)
3:38 PM Dec 20th
from Twittelator
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Nick: "Is 'lesbian' ie or ia?"
Me: "ia."
Nick: "Ya know, I type 'lesbian' so much you'd think I'd remember that".
3:35 PM Dec 20th
from Twittelator
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"Why won't you let me rub your ears while I'm dancing?"
1:30 PM Dec 18th
from Twittelator
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Me: "This is real life. This isn't like a doomsday episode of Inspector Gadget."
Nick (incredibly serio (cont)
11:33 AM Dec 18th
from Twittelator
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(spills soda on chest & crotch)
"Shit, now my soda?! ...It's alright, I'll just use the soda to get all this honey off of my hands."
5:28 PM Dec 17th
from Twittelator
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"These peanuts are crunching like beetles."
11:17 PM Dec 15th
from Twittelator
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"Have you ever felt like your hair is sneaking up on you?"
11:08 PM Dec 15th
from Twittelator
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(after seeing Isabella Rossellini on tv) "Hey look! It's Whale Dick!"
2:14 PM Dec 14th
from Twittelator
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(singing) "Waaaaalks of liiiife!"
(pauses, then says aloud to himself) "Wait... No. That's not a song. Shut up, Nick!"
12:49 PM Dec 14th
from Twittelator
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(after not finding the corkscrew)
"No really, it would work. You just jam a screw in the cork & pull it out with the back of a hammer."
10:34 PM Dec 8th
from TwitBird iPhone
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"Hold on, let me pull over for a second. I have to get my sauce fingers under control."
5:44 PM Dec 6th
from TwitBird iPhone
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(Said like a grandpa reminiscing about the war) "Ever get lost in your own sentence? You try to get out, but it just... keeps getting worse"
3:38 PM Dec 5th
from TwitBird iPhone
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"I accidentally farted on the handle of your brush. What do you want me to do with it now?"
1:44 PM Dec 5th
from TwitBird iPhone
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"I want candy... Or I could eat some French toast. That's like bread candy."
7:33 PM Dec 4th
from TwitBird iPhone
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- Name read his lips
- Bio Chronicling the unexplanable thoughts & actions of my mentally degenerate fiancé.
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