rayrayraynor
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2009 has been a tough year for me financially. i lost most of my income in an ill-considered ponzi venture—which i started.
6:41 AM Nov 20th
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@ my measurements are 36 × 36 × 36. will your clothes fit my boobs and/or ass?
12:16 PM Nov 18th
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in reply to reconnoitre
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when i go out to a restaurant, i play the was-this-fork-ever-inside-of-winona-ryder game. actually, it's more thought experiment than game.
12:13 PM Nov 18th
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the only sweatpants that fit me were found in the husky section. frowny face.
7:28 AM Nov 12th
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uh oh, i just found a leach in my armpit. i wonder how long it's been there.
1:03 PM Nov 11th
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@ i can only assume that my accordion instructor is a dirty dirty whore.
1:01 PM Nov 11th
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in reply to inky
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so long suckers! i'm off to the tropics for pineapples and procreation.
5:17 AM Nov 6th
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eek! there was a dead mouse in my mouse trap this morning. i figure that my brand new garbage disposal will make short work of this mess.
11:05 AM Nov 4th
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at the raw bar this evening: "slurping this oyster is like giving cunnilingus to a mermaid."
6:51 PM Oct 30th
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hold on just a second—everyone else cleans their new toothbrushes in the dishwasher before using them, right?
10:42 AM Oct 29th
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a synonym for cautiously optimistic: pessimistic
6:21 PM Oct 21st
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i just swallowed a watch battery. alert the media. just kidding, this was a hoax.
1:47 PM Oct 19th
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i just heard an interview with the rza on npr's "all things considered." i'm not sure which party was selling out harder.
6:01 AM Oct 19th
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according to "statistics": this is my 136th tweet. and frankly it is also probably my best.
12:08 PM Oct 13th
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enjoying a tuna melt and some intravenous drugs.
11:04 AM Oct 7th
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i could write about 5 million blog posts dedicated to the always preposterous banner ads on thesaurus.com.
2:20 PM Oct 6th
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@ thank you kind madam, she is eastern european royalty.
2:19 PM Oct 6th
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in reply to itsthatlady
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my friends are constantly admonishing me for being a creationist. what a bunch of h8rs.
2:06 PM Oct 1st
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i just rhymed "farter" with "martyr." this is what happens when you delegate birthday card duties to me.
10:01 AM Oct 1st
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my ragetoon moment of the day: i ordered prosciutto on my pizza and got deli ham instead. FFFFFFFUUUUUUU!
7:59 PM Sep 30th
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- Name raynor ganan
- Web http://ragbag.tum...
- Bio raynor ganan twitter is still in public beta. thank you for patronising it.
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