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raypruit

  1. I don't know what the big deal is. Shit that MY dad says is on TV all the time, now that MSNBC re-runs To Catch a Predator on the weekends.
  2. She's Having An Abortion #unseenprequels #sextips
  3. TP-ing houses is not cool. Especially when you're poor and your mom has you clean it up and makes you save it for future use. #trick
  4. I found my first gray hair today. I didn't pull it out though. I just pulled up my boxers, flushed, and pretended to wash my hands.
  5. @grahamorama Adding the W to Mello and Yello can be expensive. I should know. We couldn't afford two T's for my last name.
  6. Dear Donna, Take the elevator next time. Peace, Ray Pruit. #lettertomyex
  7. Pee-Wee's Bi Adventure #oneletteroffmovies
  8. @sportsguy33 Randy Floyd was a junior in '76, not a senior. That's why he wouldn't take shit from his coach about the pledge.
  9. Anyone know where I can buy a giant vagina costume? I want to go as Brandon Walsh for Halloween.
  10. #beatcancer - and by #beatcancer I mean #beatdonnamartin
  11. Why the hell would you think you could make love with (to?) Michael Bolton when you can't even be friends with him? What are you thinking??
  12. You wanna know the day I stop drinking, cursing, and fighting? Opposite Day.
  13. Listening to Marky Mark's Good Vibrations makes me want to go to the rink and just rollerskate my stress away.
  14. I've got a case of the Mondays. And by "Mondays," I mean oral herpes.
  15. What Letterman and Calvert DeForest did behind closed doors is THEIR business. It's a shame someone tried to make money off of their love.
  16. I know it sounds impossible but I'm pretty sure I just clogged a port-a-john with my hellacious dump and extensive clean up effort.
  17. Can't believe Mackenzie Phillips' dad had sex with her. That's so gross. I mean have you SEEN her? She's ugly! (The rape/incest is bad too).
  18. RIP Patrick Swayze. Like I needed another reason to cry when watching Dirty Dancing.
  19. Labor Day is nice but it's much harder recovering from a 3 day bender than a 2 day. It's not good when you're still a little drunk on a Wed.
  20. Glenn Beck reminds me of my dad. In that I want to beat the shit out of him.