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rafitorres

  1. "2012", if I wanted to watch calendar-based cataclysmic events I'd stay home with my PMSing wife. 12:22 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  2. Oh I don't know, how about a "Honey, I'm not turned on by sparkly vampires" *before* I pour wood glue and glitter all over my naked body? 6:30 AM Nov 23rd from Tweetie
  3. @Rachelskirts At least now I have an excuse for my 6PM daily crying session. 9:16 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie in reply to Rachelskirts
  4. Self, repeat after me: "This is just a movie. Just. A. Movie." OH NO HIS WIFE DIED! *SOB* DAMN YOU, PIXAR! *SOB* *SNIFF* 9:03 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  5. @kimproper I "un"derstand. 8:07 PM Nov 18th from Tweetie in reply to kimproper
  6. @sista_flapjack I believe that's "your welcome." 6:35 PM Nov 18th from Tweetie in reply to sista_flapjack
  7. People are now debating whether the correct term should be "unfriend" or "defriend." Related: is it "I ungive" or "I degive a crap"? 5:58 PM Nov 18th from Tweetie
  8. Finally saw "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" with my own two eyes, cause that's how they roll. 6:35 AM Nov 18th from Tweetie
  9. @prtwitpages En verdad no hay problema. Yo sugerí humor porque eso es lo que hago en Twitter, pero donde quieras está bien. :) 6:32 AM Nov 18th from Tweetie in reply to prtwitpages
  10. @Joenid Bendito, es que si va a NYC la van a masacrar con razón y argumentos. 8:21 AM Nov 17th from Tweetie in reply to Joenid
  11. Sarah Palin says presidency is "not on her radar screen." She is, however, moving to DC so that she can see it from her backyard. 7:16 AM Nov 17th from Tweetie
  12. That's it, I'm about to go "Reverse Castaway" on someone (meaning I'll make a volleyball out of someone's head). 6:32 AM Nov 17th from Tweetie
  13. "I haven't slept all night thinking of you. Damn, you make me so hard." "Honey, are you talking to the Imodium again?" 7:44 AM Nov 16th from Tweetie
  14. Quick, what's the correct hand-tap signal for "I'm not interested"?! I never bothered to learn proper glory hole etiquette! 7:37 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  15. @zolora Happy Birthday from all of us ketchup-buying chumps! :) 7:24 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  16. Accidentally reversed the mic/speaker ends of the baby monitor. This explains why we heard nothing, and the troubled look on our 3yo's face. 9:14 AM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  17. I notice the faucet leak sounds like slow clapping, so I talk to it: "I got some new Twitter followers." Quoth the faucet: *slow clap* 7:02 AM Nov 11th from Birdhouse
  18. Happy Birthday to @seanhussey, a man who has touched me in ways I can't even describe in words (although I can show you on this doll). 6:05 AM Nov 11th from Tweetie
  19. @linajk Damn. 4:45 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie in reply to linajk
  20. Asking for myself: at what level of glossiness do assless chaps start looking gay? 4:41 PM Nov 10th from Tweetie