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rachijan
Lydia: "Maybe after 2 weeks straight of nothing but U2 you'll be their biggest fan." Me: "Yeeeeah...that's called Stockholm Syndrome."about 11 hours agofrom Birdhouse
It's a musical. That means there is singing. And the girl sitting behind me knows all the words.7:41 PM Dec 1stfrom Tweetie
At a Nativity play. I wish at least one of the cast members looked even a tiny bit Jewish. Instead they all look like Mormons from Utah.6:32 PM Dec 1stfrom Tweetie
"Troy. ARE? YOU? DEAF? I said my office. IMMEDIATELY."
My boss needs to have his loudspeaker privileges revoked.
Or be sued.
Either way.10:05 AM Dec 1stfrom Tweetie
Hey coworker, it's cute you're trying so hard to flirt with but I swear if you touch one more thing on this table I'll amputate your hands.9:40 AM Dec 1stfrom Tweetie
'...it just really surprised me that he said I was counter-culture.' 'really? you have blue hair. and thorns where your earrings should be.'7:58 AM Dec 1stfrom Birdhouse
I operate on a strict "don't ask, don't tell" policy. If I don't ask how your weekend was it means I don't want you to tell me.7:59 AM Nov 30thfrom Birdhouse
so...if no one wants these Wave invites i think i'll incorporate them into a sculpture. along with about a hundred gmail invites.2:08 PM Nov 29thfrom web
Okay I take it back because now he's listening to Creed and I think it might actually kill me.10:04 PM Nov 28thfrom Tweetie
Yelled at bro for texting while driving. He takes revenge by playing 3 doors down. Jokes on him. I've been listening to U2. I'm invincible.10:00 PM Nov 28thfrom Tweetie
Sister: 'Who is Edward Cullen?' Me: LOLZ! Sister: 'Why is that funny? Who is he?'
Oh, how I love that girl.9:26 PM Nov 28thfrom Tweetie
'Oh sorry. I wasn't actually staring at you. My head just got stuck that direction and my eyes glazed over.'4:48 PM Nov 28thfrom Tweetie
my sister and i are on opposite sides of a queen size bed talking via fb chat. if being introverted is a game i just leveled up.8:22 PM Nov 26thfrom web
Being surrounded by 10 nieces and nephews and assorted other children has helped me realize I'm gonna make a terrible mother someday.2:23 PM Nov 26thfrom Tweetie