quartertosleep
- He ran fast as he could away from the girl, grabbed the nearest stranger and asked, 'Is it a bad omen when a pigeon dies in front of you?'about 5 hours ago from web
- When he wrote down her license plate number, she turned the car around, changing her accidental hit and run into near vehicular homicide.8:58 PM Jul 14th from txt
- Annoyed the restaurant didn't offer him chopsticks, he sighed, poured the ketchup and dipped the lo mein in by hand.8:44 PM Jul 13th from txt
- The tired mother asked if she could place her groceries on the back of his electric Go Kart. He responded with a rev and a kick in the shin.8:12 PM Jul 12th from web
- She led her kids out of the bus then turned to me. 'I hope you choke on your own spit, asshole.' The doors closed with her still inside.11:09 PM Jul 11th from txt
- Walking home, she felt the wind rush through the grates and chanelled Marilyn Monroe, except in full burqha, leggings and a camouflage slip.11:41 PM Jul 9th from txt
- Dressed to impress, but not much else. 'Did you know,' she said, 'Like some time around 12:30 today the time and dates go from one to ten?'8:57 PM Jul 8th from txt
- He steadied his prosumer camera as the 7 train ascended overground, causing much grief moments later when the train stopped. Grown men cry.9:13 PM Jul 7th from txt
- From the dialtones I guessed his password. One new; twelve saved. From his wife I'm guessing none. At least none that he kept.10:47 PM Jul 6th from web
- 'Paddle!' yelled the instructor, wildly gesturing. The kid held the paddle aloft, copied the movements in the air and drifted farther away.10:29 PM Jul 5th from web
- @jennifermallen North Koreans are just mad despite drawing Disney's animation cels, they still won't build a Disneyland in Pyongyang.10:15 PM Jul 5th from web in reply to jennifermallen
- The police chopper shined their lights at our west village rooftop, then promptly flew away, as we were neither terrorists nor big breasted.12:30 AM Jul 5th from txt
- I flipped the bacon while the construction men worked on the building's facade. Had they not waken me with their jackhammer, I'd offer some.11:20 PM Jul 3rd from web
- On her way back into via bar, her wig caught hold of the exit sign. She fell backwards in her flip flops, without the hair.12:16 AM Jul 3rd from txt
- The old golden retriever tried in vain to get back up. 'Good try,' said his equally ancient owner as he pulled the dog and his own pants up.9:05 PM Jul 1st from web
- My Facebook account has been deactivated for impersonating Charles Dickens. At least it can never again suggest I make friends with my exes.9:48 PM Jun 30th from web
- A foreign accent describing Jupiter keeps me awake. She makes up for each wrong aspiration with a shout, and misplaced vowel with a scream.9:01 PM Jun 29th from web
- Offended I forgot his name, he yelled at me, 'Barack what Obama? What?' until his friend called him a cab.10:56 PM Jun 28th from txt
- The little girl in the sundress put on the laytex glove. 'Where'd you get that?' asked her tired mother. 'The hospital.' And back they went.9:44 PM Jun 27th from txt
- A plane is circling my hood, wasting fuel so it won't explode during landing. I cross fingers it crashes near, so I can claim a sick day.12:14 AM Jun 26th from txt
|
- Name Quarter to Sleep
- Location New York, NY
- Web http://www.quarte...
- Bio Fifteen minutes before sleep, I text myself a daily adventure.
|
