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ppemberton

  1. My hair got long today/
  2. If Oprah can get Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield together, let's see what she can do in the Middle East. http://tinyurl.com/yzpoffm
  3. What's worse -- that Balloon Boy's parents had no clue where their 6-year-old was or that they named him Falcon?
  4. All this talk of balloon boy this and balloon boy that, and yet no one has so much as mentioned the fate of that poor, poor balloon.
  5. I really, really, really, really, really don't need to hear guys grunting in the bathroom stall.
  6. New Academy Award category: Best Chick Flick. Richard Gere gets an honorary Oscar to kick it off.
  7. I can accept rain only if it happens at night. Who can I talk to about this?
  8. @shelikestowatch Somebody is a sun hater.
  9. So if I can convince everyone that I can become invisible, can I get away with not showing up to work?
  10. Why is it that houses always burn to the ground so quickly, yet I can never keep a fireplace lit?
  11. Proof that I haven't fully evolved: http://bit.ly/1yrOaq
  12. Shouldn't all banks be closed on Halloween? Think about it: No matter what you wear, you don't look suspicious.
  13. But really? Probably the Yankees.
  14. My World Series prediction: Angels v. Phillies. Angels win it.
  15. What are you supposed to do when you're looking at a web site for work that has a really racy ad?
  16. @thehuffpost Top Ten Reasons to Watch Letterman. #10: Waiting to hear him confess to knocking up Bristol Palin. http://tinyurl.com/yjc5pyh
  17. My pledge to you: I will never use the word "seminal" in a newspaper story.
  18. My 5-year-old daughter as I was setting the scene of her bedtime story: "All right, all right -- get to the story part!"
  19. Ok, seriously. Someone has made the weekends go faster than the rest of the week, right?
  20. Welcome to the first day of fall. (Sigh) Summer's officially over.