poograms
My poop smells like buttercups! Or maybe that's the air freshener.
| In my religion there is a God of Poop. And all he asks of his children is that they wash their hands after wiping. |
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| The best part of waking up isn't Foldgers in my cup, but realizing the man-eating unicorn was all just a dream. A magical nightmare, really. |
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| You can't hurry poop. No you just have to wait. Trust in the bowels no matter how long it takes. |
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| The Dupont escalators were offended by my douche comment and decided to completely die. Sensitive Sallies. |
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| My office building has purchased both better TP and paper towels. Who ever is responsible for this, I owe you a beer. |
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| The Dupont Metro escalator is a total douche. |
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| My flip-flops always sound way too flip-floppy. Do they sell flip-flop silencers? |
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| Reminded today what a pain moving is. Gonna be tough raising a family in my studio apartment but I guess that's just how it'll have to be. |
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| An incomplete list of people I'd like to meet: 1) Papa Smurf 2) Summer Sanders 3) The Pope 4) John Stamos 5) Odie, the dog from Garfield. |
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| @ferociousj Yeah, it's surprisingly catchy (and awesome?). I'm actually tempted to buy it. |
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| Scrapple, egg and cheese biscuit sounds mighty good right about now. |
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| A Haiku with no end: Green poop, what are you? Are you from something I ate? Magical, maybe? |
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| Well, now that it's finally legal to buy a gun in DC, does anyone know if I can get one in orange? It's kinda my thing. |
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| Trained up to Philly and Chitown bused back. If you want a boring and quick ride, take the train. For hair-raising adventure try the bus! |
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| Just passed through Wilmington. Surprisingly, Delaware doesn't make train passengers pay a toll. |
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| Note to Amtrak: install softer armrests on your chairs. My elbows are very delicate and quite uncomfortable at the moment. |
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| Dude on the metro looks like a retired pro wrestler. Not a good look. |
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| Sweet TP of mine (duh duh duh), wiping time never felt this good (so good so good so good) |
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| <springsteen>Tramps like us, certain foods give us the ruuuns...woh oh oh oh! |
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