pmelt
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Apparently I'm an awful human being. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up happy. Goodnight, Internet.
about 1 hour ago
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Why is Tiger Woods banging other chicks big news? He's TIGER WOODS. If I was him, I'd be fucking bitches until I turned white. (lolwut?)
about 15 hours ago
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I just hit the club with a mug so mean, got them niggas like "who the fuck is that?"
10:22 AM Dec 1st
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Obama sending 30k more troops to Afghanistan = proof that his lack of experience has him spinning his wheels, trying to make everyone happy.
7:20 AM Dec 1st
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I'm looking for a reputable car stereo installer in Tampa. I need someone that really knows their shit. Get at me.
8:15 PM Nov 30th
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I'll be at Coconuts Brandon (headlining) Friday and Saturday, and Comedy Zone Ft. Walton Beach on Sunday this weekend. Come out!
9:57 AM Nov 30th
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My CD is now in iTunes Mexico, for you dirty Mexican people. It's also in every other country. So buy it and laugh!
9:32 AM Nov 30th
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Are Amazon wishlists a thing again? Two people have mentioned them in two days. I thought they went out with 2004.
8:13 PM Nov 29th
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All I want for Christmas is a new head unit for my 2007 Accord EX-L. Want to retain steering wheel controls, dual climate control, and iPod.
6:19 PM Nov 29th
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RooftopComedy is featuring clips on the front page about being fat. I'm one of the eight clips they are featuring.
7:57 AM Nov 27th
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In-flight Internet rules. How it is taking every airline so long to roll this out to every plane baffles me.
4:09 AM Nov 26th
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On a jet plane back to Florida. I'm goin to miss the cold weather here. I love it.
2:49 AM Nov 26th
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All set for another night not at home and with 3 hours sleep. I'm going to snap.
9:30 PM Nov 25th
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Come see me tonight at the Columbus, OH Funny Bone at 7:30. I need some people out here supporting me with big laugh boxes! LOLOLROWQFOLLXDL
1:41 PM Nov 25th
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I just saw a black couple in Ohio. Where do I claim my prize?
11:18 AM Nov 25th
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Debating between sleep and working on organizing my set for tonight. This is probably the most important set in my career thus far.
11:01 AM Nov 25th
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Just landed in Columbus, Ohio. I can smell the intolerance already.
9:24 AM Nov 25th
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Watching security make a guy open his suitcase. Inside is one jacket, burned CDs, a camcorder, one Costco brochure, jumper cables, and gum.
6:46 AM Nov 25th
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Getting ready to drive to the airport. I'm in Columbus tonight at the Funny Bone of you want to come out. It's a 7:30 show!
3:09 AM Nov 25th
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Maybe I'll die in my sleep.
9:17 PM Nov 24th
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- Name Patrick
- Location Tampa, FL
- Web http://patrickmel...
- Bio I do standup comedy and I talk on an internet radio show. I'm insecure and need your approval.
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