plfrederick
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2:20 Watch Humans in Their Native Habitat
about 1 hour ago
from TwitBird iPhone
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Visit the mall 4 times a year and it's all, Next Elephant Juggling Taming Prize Leotard Show @ 1:15.
about 2 hours ago
from TwitBird iPhone
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The next hot trend? Worm grunting.
about 18 hours ago
from TwitBird iPhone
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The winter landscape is covered under 2 feet of salt. Hey, life by the ocean.
12:40 PM Dec 21st
from TwitBird iPhone
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Ladybug Santa asks that you not sit on his lap.
7:54 AM Dec 21st
from web
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Is she intensly staring at you because you're fascinating? Or because she's gonna peck your eye out?
12:14 PM Dec 16th
from TwitBird iPhone
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Depending on where you put the "s" you get "tables" or "stable".
12:04 PM Dec 16th
from TwitBird iPhone
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The perfect employee for VIAGRA Online Shop is over there hocking PhDs. You'll write for VIAGRA OS some day, Jacques Butts... someday.
3:52 PM Dec 15th
from web
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It's called "installing" software because it stalls time. Rosie the Robot, where are you?!
8:05 AM Dec 10th
from TwitBird iPhone
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What's your superpower? And don't tell me "ostrich rider" because I think we disproved that one already.
4:00 PM Dec 9th
from TwitBird iPhone
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If it was 300 years ago this 4 cents here'd make me wealthy beyond all comprehension. One castle please, with moat, keep the change.
3:58 PM Dec 9th
from TwitBird iPhone
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When I say, "all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth," that's a lie, and caused my two front teeth to sue. Be careful out there.
3:46 PM Dec 9th
from TwitBird iPhone
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Why do spam messages assume everyone's male, huh? 52% of the time they're barking up the wrong weenie tree.
3:36 PM Dec 9th
from TwitBird iPhone
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Sunday I'll be caricaturing at another benefit. Oh please, please, please no kicking kids.
1:38 PM Dec 4th
from TwitBird iPhone
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The crouton sofa: looks so modern but gives a dry, chafey sit.
11:20 AM Dec 3rd
from web
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Oh the many-hues of autumn. Brown, sienna brown, dark brown, light brown, dry brown, darker brown, dirt brown, brownish brown...
11:12 AM Dec 3rd
from web
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Bipolar Mother Earth: today in the 60s, Saturday it snows.
8:21 AM Dec 3rd
from TwitBird iPhone
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Typing in one's moments in 140 characters or less is SO much less cool than being auto-documented by a floating orb robot.
4:14 PM Dec 2nd
from TwitBird iPhone
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Of course Pink Lady apples come in EXTRA fancy.
2:57 PM Dec 2nd
from TwitBird iPhone
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The secret to winning friends and influencing people? Purring and seafood breath.
2:48 PM Dec 2nd
from TwitBird iPhone
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