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planetmoron

  1. AARP: Association for the Advancement of our Retail Products http://is.gd/4P6Oi
  2. Obama will never rush decision of sending troops into harm’s way http://is.gd/4Ez0O No rush on those already there either http://is.gd/4Ez5S
  3. Krugman: Other than no cost containment, MA health plan working great! http://is.gd/4D1vg "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"
  4. 40 humpback whales will swim behind one female for a chance to mate http://is.gd/4ybNH Humpbacks: World's largest known high school students
  5. Burning bunnies for heating fuel: http://is.gd/4w4ev Upside: Green, renewable source of energy. Downside: You're burning freaking bunnies!
  6. Congress kills actual border fence in favor of far more effective make-believe kind http://is.gd/4uo8U (Just pretend it will work)
  7. Great moments in GOP politics: Party chooses liberal to run against Democrat in district that is Republican: http://is.gd/4uiDv
  8. 'Moby-Dick' to be rewritten in emoticons http://is.gd/4sZ63 To that we say, :/ %% :-! :D
  9. My parents made me hide in the attic for five hours for a reality TV show and all I got were these lousy felony charges. http://is.gd/4pHyF
  10. Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of the Internet, now sorry for all the slashes http://is.gd/4jOo9 Al Gore: "I told him to leave the slashes out."
  11. Reid: Insurance companies "make more money than any other business in America." http://is.gd/4jATz Except for 85 others http://is.gd/4jBhF
  12. Public school teachers expected to be the big winners in stimulus spending http://is.gd/4fWRp You don't say... http://www.neademocrats.org/
  13. If you don't purchase health insurance you can either pay a fine or go to jail http://is.gd/48BqA See, you DO have choices under Obamacare!
  14. You know who else won a Nobel Peace Prize? Jimmy Carter http://is.gd/46DVc They think they're helping. But really, they aren't.
  15. In 20 years, shortage of eligible women in China will become critical http://is.gd/45C5s Think "world's largest Star Trek convention."
  16. Married white men in convertibles at higher risk for deafness http://is.gd/43zQA Eh?
  17. Obama Afghan plan: No surge or withdraw but something in-between http://is.gd/42AM3 Because anything worth doing, is worth doing half-assed.
  18. Man arrested for threatening to shoot iPhone http://is.gd/3ZcPo Obviously he was iNsane.
  19. Newly discovered Ardi fossil shows "apes descended from humans" http://is.gd/3SQRT Fundamentalist apes are reportedly outraged.
  20. Carter: I didn't say what I said. I said what I meant to say which is exactly what I said I said. http://is.gd/3R51x