phylhrmnix
- Back from an excellent night bike through Avenel. Kept deer at bay with "This Charming Man". Keep those innards tender and juicy, Suburbia!about 11 hours ago from web
- The sun rising so goddamn early is getting to be a real affront to my life choices.3:09 AM Jul 5th from web
- Summer's enervating clime strips my LucasArts adventure game command list of everything but "Murder". So, Hoagie's stuck, and I'm in jail.1:32 PM Jul 3rd from web
- Love is a Technodrome.11:15 AM Jul 3rd from web
- You kick ONE stray kitten in front of the wrong daycare and everybody looks at you like you just got Goebbels a Cosmo in Hell's airport bar.9:22 PM Jun 24th from web
- Any note I write has a one-in-twenty chance of turning into an adaption of "This Is Just To Say" by William Carlos Williams.11:51 PM Jun 13th from web
- This is a Low.1:24 AM Jun 12th from Twitterrific
- Combing the medicine cabinet a final time, sighing, and accepting the micro-indignity of the Improperly Sized Band-Aid.10:00 PM Jun 11th from web
- The next time you need a conversation torpedoed, tentatively (but earnestly!) declare that you "kinda get" autoerotic asphyxiation.8:17 PM Jun 10th from web
- THIS TWEET hereby entitles the reader to $5 should they bear witness to my pilfering a single string from a full set for short-term gain.10:07 AM Jun 8th from Twitterrific
- Either the neighbors are smothering a feebly-protesting Rick Ross with a pillow, or somebody forgot the "nice speakers" part of huss-a-lin'.6:22 PM Jun 7th from web
- Bridezillas, socioculturally: leaving a vat of mayo in the sun for days, taking a huge whiff, and proclaiming "Well I don't smell THAT bad".3:11 PM Jun 7th from web
- Classes. Are. DONE. By rights, I should be dead, but turns out all I needed was 20 consecutive hours of sleep. No problem. Piece of cake.4:14 PM Jun 6th from web
- Fetal pig dissections today. My rooms are just beyond the horrific visual epicenter, but still very much within formaldehyde blast radius.3:35 PM Jun 3rd from Twitterrific
- Beyond vile, beyond noxious, beyond blasphemous was the stench that exited with the Mexican Leftovers: Eschatological. Sorry, Earth. My "B".11:33 PM Jun 2nd from web
- Hearken these words, Good people, for mine is a tale of woe! A tale of Phish Food consumed in its store-vessel without portion aforethought!1:02 AM May 31st from web
- Look, you can't just assume people will understand your "girlfriend's gone = pants zero" policy.
But you did. And now you're incarcerated.11:37 PM May 29th from web
- Woah, take it easy, offendanistas: they're not MY houseplants.10:44 PM May 27th from Twitterrific
- Man, houseplants are an order of magnitude easier to neglect to death than cats.10:43 PM May 27th from Twitterrific
- Stairs: nobody bats 1.000.2:03 PM May 26th from web
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