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phillygirl

  1. Theory: Municipality not paying to fix potholes, but allowing them to grow to foxhole-size, in hopes of earning federal funding for defense. about 14 hours ago from web
  2. _Unrequited Love and Unsaturated Fats_, the tale of one cafeteria man's quest to deep fry & supersize his way into the heart of his beloved. about 16 hours ago from web
  3. It's only a matter of time before coworkers suggest tying a bell around my neck to protect the innocent from my foul moods. about 21 hours ago from web
  4. Rooting thru the closet I find a bag of telephone cords. For phones that plug into walls. Phones I don't have. A bag full. That I'm saving. 4:38 PM Nov 10th from Brizzly
  5. GAH, fallen bean! So we meet again, space between the fridge & cabinet! Laugh now, my foe, but whn I design my kitchen I will eliminate you! 8:17 AM Nov 10th from Twitterrific
  6. Though we may travel the earth over, east coasters never lose that urge to lurch forth and shove slow-moving people. 4:22 PM Nov 9th from web
  7. Your tv may be too big if you reflexively duck during shoot out scenes. 5:48 PM Nov 8th from Tweetie
  8. It was the Ministry of Silly Runs tonight at the gym, starring Bounce-Prance guy, Arm Flapper Guy, & (my personal favorite) Backstroke Lady. 6:44 PM Nov 6th from web
  9. WS_FTP WTF! They messed w/our server then outsourced our tech support, so I'm on phone w/India (on hold,w/muzak) to get into my own website. 3:32 PM Nov 6th from web
  10. As if it weren't enough that I work on a Dell that runs Vista, the start-up noise are the 2 principal notes of a B-side Rick Astley song. 10:10 AM Nov 6th from web
  11. Looking up the function of the frontal lobe of the brain, trying to decide if I can risk flossing any harder to get this piece of popcorn. 2:57 PM Nov 5th from Brizzly
  12. What kind of jackass writes IN PEN in a library book? I think this is the episode I discover my "Avenger of LibraryBooks!" superhero calling 12:32 PM Nov 5th from Brizzly
  13. To me, a hardware store opening down the st. means unsanctioned apartment renovations & a 50/50 toss-up between my imminent injury/eviction. 1:33 PM Nov 4th from web
  14. No, I'm sure it has nothing to do with my stress level that all night I dreamt about ways to cover up a murder. 7:46 AM Nov 4th from web
  15. Scrutinizing the contents of the new neighbors' open U-Haul. Just want to see what we're in store for. The cat tower promises some crazy. 6:09 PM Nov 3rd from web
  16. "If I eat Chex instead, I'll need the bigger bowl because the surface area is greater & density lesser than Cheerios" -My internal monologue 8:21 AM Nov 3rd from web
  17. I'm surprised this child's parents let him leave the safety of the womb. Child is 1) wearing a helmet 2) riding a tricycle 3) on the grass. 3:29 PM Nov 2nd from txt
  18. Novice driver misjudged golf cart turning radius and is stuck between 2 poles. He's mortified. His friends are taking pictures for facebook. 1:26 PM Nov 2nd from txt
  19. After the elevator skipped my floor the 3rd time, all I could do to cover was throw my arms in the air and pretend I was riding for fun. 3:34 PM Nov 1st from Twitterrific
  20. Excuse me, @lonelysandwich, could you please @putthison? 10:11 PM Oct 30th from txt