philgs
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Cameltoe is at the center of a new trademark battle. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. God, I love the law.
about 4 hours ago
from Brizzly
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One advantage of being a dumbass is that I'm skilled at jump-starting cars.
about 5 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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@ "Dear admissions dean: Elise sometimes gives me stars and rarely tweets about her poop. She is a great match for your program."
about 13 hours ago
from Brizzly
in reply to emckenna
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Like a communications disruption, coffee at midnight can only mean one thing: INVASION!
about 15 hours ago
from Brizzly
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Look, even if none of you give that tweet any stars, @ approves, and that's all I need.
about 15 hours ago
from Brizzly
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After sitting in class for 4 hours, I can finally fart to my bowel's content.
about 17 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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@ Brizzly does that!
about 20 hours ago
from Brizzly
in reply to farcepest
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@ Charcoal. Black is for funerals.
about 23 hours ago
from Brizzly
in reply to 2012ad
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@ OMGOMGOMG!!1! I've seen that plate! In the parking deck at work. (And no, it's not me.)
9:22 PM Nov 30th
from Brizzly
in reply to orangedoorhinge
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I thought that guy was trying to run me over until I saw his handicapped sticker. Then I realized he was just recruiting.
9:17 PM Nov 30th
from Brizzly
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I believe that this situation calls for some fucking chili.
[Opens can of soup by mistake.]
This situation calls for some black bean soup!
1:32 PM Nov 30th
from Brizzly
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Lazy web: Can I get drunk on hand sanitizer?
10:15 AM Nov 30th
from Brizzly
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@ That would be a great mechanic: "For every 10 points of damage you take, remove an article of clothing."
10:48 AM Nov 29th
from Brizzly
in reply to geeksdreamgirl
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(Just fixing my earlier mis-quote. Nothing to see here. Move along.)
7:38 PM Nov 28th
from Brizzly
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"Mr. McKittrick, after careful consideration, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks."
7:38 PM Nov 28th
from Brizzly
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Despite all the objective evidence to the contrary, I feel remarkably on top of my shit.
2:07 PM Nov 28th
from Brizzly
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Pro tip: cut biscuits open, stuff with butter, *then* microwave.
1:38 PM Nov 28th
from Brizzly
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Time to read Cat Fancy. And by "read Cat Fancy," I mean read Cat Fancy whilst taking a dump.
9:41 AM Nov 28th
from Brizzly
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Watching Full House and jammin' on the one, just like we used to kick it back in the day.
7:09 PM Nov 26th
from UberTwitter
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@ I'll thank you not to refer to Yale like that.
5:48 PM Nov 26th
from UberTwitter
in reply to abigvictory
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- Name phil.gs
- Location Northern Virginia
- Web http://zombiecat....
- Bio Externalizing my internal monologue. Also, I'm into furries. For serious.
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