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pheend

  1. Gonna have strippers at my funeral in order to mourn the passing of the life I did not lead.about 2 hours ago from web
  2. @rejecter Then I'm your murse.about 7 hours ago from web in reply to rejecter
  3. Gonna study for 12 hours again today in order to ensure that I still kill you when I am a practicing nurse.about 7 hours ago from web
  4. Overcompensation is exhausting.about 17 hours ago from web
  5. Tootsie Roll Hammockabout 19 hours ago from web
  6. Hair is the mushroom of the nose. [whisper THAT to your kids before bed tonight]about 19 hours ago from web
  7. Every time an iPhone gets wet an angel doesn't.about 22 hours ago from web
  8. Having much less public restroom stage fright thanks to my new strategy of thinking about your mother.about 24 hours ago from web
  9. Just had a premonition that I will have sex sometime within the next 50 years.2:14 PM Jul 11th from web
  10. Found $22 on the ground, or as I now call it, Mother Nature's bedstand.12:09 PM Jul 11th from web
  11. If psychologists observed me for a day, then they would revisit the lower limit of the neonatal IQ range.11:56 AM Jul 11th from web
  12. My inner woman? Pfft. I'm in touch with my inner little girl. Co-worker used to call me "Princess", and I liked it.10:36 AM Jul 11th from web
  13. @CampNicole Fear my genius like you would a sewer.9:03 AM Jul 11th from Seesmic
  14. Can't grasp the whole obsessive video gaming thing. How do gamers find time for porn?8:52 AM Jul 11th from Seesmic
  15. Vampire jokes never get old.7:38 AM Jul 11th from Seesmic
  16. Halter? Why, is she a go-er?8:26 PM Jul 10th from Seesmic
  17. If I could bang avatars ... well, you get the picture. After me.7:35 PM Jul 10th from Birdhouse
  18. Who asked you?7:10 PM Jul 10th from Birdhouse
  19. Guessing that Smack-A-Bitch™ is much funner to play with two people.6:33 PM Jul 10th from web
  20. A non-pharmaceutical cure for ADD? Boobs.5:39 PM Jul 10th from web