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penciljesus

  1. I love Thanksgiving! It's the only big holiday I don't have to work. 6:57 PM Nov 24th from Twitterrific
  2. I found out today that doing yoga in a robe can provide "interesting" views for my classmates. 2:27 PM Nov 24th from Twitterrific
  3. Got pulled over for speeding but didn't get a ticket suckas. #perksofbeingthesonofgod 9:23 PM Nov 18th from web
  4. I went to Disneyland today. Funny to see so many icons of someone that isn't me. He's just a mouse! Sorry, I get a little jealous. 12:05 AM Nov 14th from Twitterrific
  5. Was hanging with Zeus tonite & we realized my name in Spanish is "Hey Zeus!" (It's funnier...if you're drinking.) 11:24 PM Nov 8th from Twitterrific
  6. Happy Halloween all. Make sure your tips are sharp tonight. 8:37 AM Oct 31st from Twitterrific
  7. When I see people dressed up as me on Halloween I always say, "You'll burn in Hell!". Scares them. Humors me. 5:43 PM Oct 29th from Twitterrific
  8. Godsmell (He's definitely not going to find this as funny as I do.) #oneletteroffmovies 11:00 AM Oct 24th from web
  9. I dressed up as Satan once for Halloween. Boss man big was NOT pleased. I don't celebrate Halloween anymore. 10:53 AM Oct 24th from web
  10. Finally saw The Dark Knight cuz my friend plays the pencil in the "magic trick" scene. Talk about lead poisoning. 2:19 PM Oct 14th from Twitterrific
  11. Just because I rose from the dead does not mean I'm a zombie...although I will eat your entrails if pressed. 11:10 PM Oct 12th from Twitterrific
  12. Of course she did. Duh. http://bit.ly/ILFVe 9:56 PM Oct 5th from web
  13. I'm on a cleanse...40 Days and 40 nights never felt so long. Ah, forget it. I'm just gonna change my name to Fat Jesus. 12:01 AM Oct 1st from Twitterrific
  14. It's hot days like this that I appreciate not wearing any pants. 4:42 PM Sep 26th from Twitterrific
  15. "Confucius say, Pencil Jesus is the man!". (He was a little drunk when he said it but the guy knows what he's talking about.) 12:16 AM Sep 26th from Twitterrific
  16. I've created a new condiment, "PJ's Fully-Leaded BBQ Sauce". The slogan: "It's so thick and savior-y, I was reborn twice!" 11:17 PM Sep 16th from Twitterrific
  17. People always ask "What's it like on the other side?" Me: "The grass IS greener. (pause) Seriously. Now beat it." 11:21 PM Sep 14th from Twitterrific
  18. When I go out with Moses people always ask him to "part" stuff so he always parts their hair. Makes me laugh every time. 6:18 PM Sep 11th from Twitterrific
  19. I asked PencilLucifer what Hell was like. He said, "The pencils have no erasers and all the tips are broken." Me: (loud girly scream) 8:03 AM Sep 11th from Twitterrific
  20. My favorite bumper sticker: "Pencil Jesus is coming...look busy." It's so funny, cause it's true. 1:38 PM Sep 3rd from web