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Can't seem to get my last-minute Halloween costume mojo going this year. 3 days left and the best I can come up with is Visible Guy.8:37 AM Oct 28thfrom TweetDeck
@ the junkyard...looks like a lot of these people weren't wearing seatbelts.10:50 AM Oct 1stfrom txt
@ the gym w my shorts on backwards. Still trying to get the hang of this morning workout thing.7:54 AM Sep 23rdfrom txt
Thinking about bringing back words shaved into your hair. My first one is gonna be 'SUP?!?!?11:37 AM Aug 12thfrom web
Dreamt of being relentlessly attacked by a blind albino doberman.1:47 PM Aug 10thfrom web
Why is it that erry single time I wash my car I end up behind a dirty homemade trike with a bad gas leak ridden by cowboy in a coonskin hat?1:42 PM Aug 10thfrom web
It has come to my attention that over the last few months I have been using fabric softener in place of detergent.4:01 AM Aug 9thfrom txt
Jehovah's Witness with a Camelbak. Cuz evangelism be dehydratin' as hell.3:59 PM Aug 2ndfrom web
Epitaph request: Previous tweet, past tense.2:45 PM Jul 20thfrom web
Operating under the assumption that you really can't get hurt that badly doing your own electrical work w/o any real electrical knowledge.2:44 PM Jul 20thfrom web
Mousy Catherine Jones' username is 'cajones'. Never really had username envy before.8:20 PM Jul 16thfrom web
Totally twitter-venting. Really pissed about the meatballs.5:38 PM Jul 14thfrom web
1 US cup = 237 ml, 1 UK cup = 284 ml, 1 Aus. cup = 250 ml
Come ON can we please get our shit together?5:36 PM Jul 14thfrom web
Completely botched first go @ frickadeller. Euro C = cl, not cup. Wondered why I was dumping 3 cups of milk in 2 pounds of meat. barf/gurgle5:34 PM Jul 14thfrom web
Quick way to un-green your run: hop in the car for a loop and a self-congratulatory look at the trip meter.7:57 AM Jul 14thfrom web
Piecing together an XBOX 360 setup off craigslist from 16-year-olds that have outgrown them10:37 AM Jul 13thfrom txt
