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pandashark

  1. Listening to Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros on headphones while watching Cops on the telly is mighty jarring, I've gotta say. Scared. 12:05 AM Dec 22nd from web
  2. But really, I just need to go to a super amazing show soon. The last good show I saw was like a month ago. My depression is depressed. 8:38 PM Dec 20th from web
  3. Denver sucks a little hard right now. Having annoying dreams of moving in with family in NYC and shamelessly living off them for a while. 8:36 PM Dec 20th from web
  4. And good for me too: "Sex anything??? And nudity?!!! Hell yes!" Warning to parents: your kids will likely disappoint you. 8:30 PM Dec 20th from web
  5. Glad the fucking MPAA now puts reasons for ratings on movies. Makes Xmas shopping for my parents way easier. "Sex anything? That's a no." 8:26 PM Dec 20th from web
  6. Bought my puppy his 1000th toy this weekend (a green lobster he adores). Love spending money on him; doesn't bode well for my having kids. 8:17 PM Dec 20th from web
  7. Also, I have the most ridiculously expensive taste for a poor that I've ever seen. Eeek, awful. Could use drugs of some sort right now. 8:15 PM Dec 20th from web
  8. Bought only 2 out of 8 gifts this weekend after countless hours of terrible mall time. Hate shopping. Head hurts. Maybe want to die. 8:13 PM Dec 20th from web
  9. But, pro: getting hit on by lesbian delivery chick who calls me cute pet names and compliments my vampire skin. Purrrrrrrr. 8:53 PM Dec 15th from web
  10. But, hazard: getting hit on by weird and/or boring delivery guys. Them: How ya doin? Me: Fine. Them: Well, I can SEE that! Me: Meh. 8:49 PM Dec 15th from web
  11. Pros of receptionisting: Being referred to as "that cute young thing" and being told I'm the nicest receptionista in town. Purrrrrrrrrrr. 8:42 PM Dec 15th from web
  12. Hazards of receptionisting: Lustfully gazing at Harry & David catalogs and thinking a pear basket would be like the best xmas gift eeeever. 8:39 PM Dec 15th from web
  13. Yeah, I think people need to start calling me SWOWW. That'd be totally cool, right? 5:24 PM Dec 13th from web
  14. You know, I've got 101 problems and bitches account for roughly two of them. 4:33 PM Dec 13th from web
  15. Borrowing from my hero, Tao: Kinda afraid to read my last few tweets. Feel like I'd feel 'really' bad about myself if I did. 11:04 PM Dec 10th from web
  16. Great, y'all think I'm like the Grinch AND disturbed or something. Grumble grumble. Did I mention @brofax is slipping me weird pills??? 10:54 PM Dec 10th from web
  17. And by "sleeping pill" I of course meant "poison." Speaking of, what if boob implants were made of poison? Exciting, right? 10:52 PM Dec 10th from web
  18. @brofax just slipped something into my drink! Oh, it was just a sleeping pill...so he can silence me and beat me at Twitter! Noooo...snooze. 10:44 PM Dec 10th from web
  19. 50 tweets?! Holy shit! I feel like I really might die die the death death (what can I say? Words are my specialty). 10:39 PM Dec 10th from web
  20. And anyone who would feel the need to write my last tweet is probably a loser...fuuuuck me (and not in the sexy way either. Everyone loses!) 10:35 PM Dec 10th from web