p3rljam
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Wishing the state patrol a merry Xmas as I blow by at 115mph with my middle finger tied in a bow [= more news later from booking.
5:15 PM Dec 25th
from Tweetie
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Another year survived. Now where is my student loan, bitches. I'm tired of living in my car!
7:10 PM Dec 22nd
from Tweetie
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@ stfu if you are fat, Then I am a meat Popsicle.
9:42 PM Dec 21st
from Tweetie
in reply to twistedgamine
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@ you know, backing up config files BEFORE you fuck with them is kinda cool.
1:11 PM Dec 19th
from Tweetie
in reply to charlesmoseley
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Dropping the kids off at the pool.
1:25 PM Dec 18th
from Tweetie
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@ yes, because you'll neveruse it again anyway.
9:48 AM Dec 18th
from Tweetie
in reply to heartfeltrobot
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Dear twitter, why does like half of my talk about drinking almost every night? Are they my future Internet AA buddies?
9:50 PM Dec 17th
from Tweetie
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Pro tip: do not defeagment a laptop using a car battery.
10:17 AM Dec 16th
from Tweetie
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You know your face is made of steel wool when your shaver dies on a single charge.
9:05 AM Dec 16th
from Tweetie
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Unshaved, gross, dandruff, even grosser. I need to change clothes and wake the fuck up tomorrow.
10:40 PM Dec 15th
from Tweetie
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@ I just squeezed another 10hp out of my car.
10:09 PM Dec 15th
from Tweetie
in reply to charlesmoseley
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I am never sleeping at daniels house ever again. I woke up with my pants undone, I don't even want to know what happened.
9:39 PM Dec 11th
from Tweetie
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@ I would never let a boy pop my corn. That is just gross. [=
8:28 PM Dec 11th
from Tweetie
in reply to twistedgamine
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@ damn and I thought I wasbeing co by declaring myself as a global. Hobo for life it is ]=
6:54 PM Dec 10th
from Tweetie
in reply to charlesmoseley
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<?php
If ($shave == TRUE) { ROB = $hotness++; } else { ROB = $hobo++;
Echo ("]/;="); }
die ("it\'s too damn cold outside");
?>
6:41 PM Dec 10th
from Tweetie
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@ oddly enough as much as it is a crying shame about the door. The reflection is very pretty.
6:34 PM Dec 10th
from Tweetie
in reply to twistedgamine
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Blue balls? Ha mine are red. Top that assholes.
2:45 AM Dec 10th
from Tweetie
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@ oh, you are skilled at that too? I picked up a new skill tonight. My crotch was set ablaze with dust off for 30 secs tonight
2:45 AM Dec 10th
from Tweetie
in reply to twistedgamine
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@ Eww
2:43 AM Dec 10th
from Tweetie
in reply to ViciousPlatypus
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@ did you know that for each radio you tune to the x-mas channel Soviet Santa will liberate another elf from capitalism?
3:40 PM Dec 8th
from Tweetie
in reply to twistedgamine
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