overheard
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"I've got a man sized portion" I've got a man-sized portion right here. *OH!*
12:58 PM Nov 17th
from Tweetie
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outside the Dom Post: You can have that lube if you want it, it hasn't been used. Well, that's reassuring.
10:06 PM Nov 11th
from Tweetie
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in Vegas about Wayne Newton: He's had so much work done that he looks like a 6 year old asian woman.
12:46 AM Nov 11th
from Tweetie
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"There's X and there's triple-X. What's XX? Is that like 'kind of porny'?"
7:28 AM Nov 10th
from Tweetie
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I know you're hungry but don't eat the urinal cake. You want a Krispy Cream to hold you over?
5:41 PM Nov 8th
from Tweetie
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"I don't go camping. Camping, for me, is like... staying at a Westin."
8:23 AM Nov 4th
from Tweetie
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in the office: "I wish Gary was here to smell my meat." Mine, too.
2:22 PM Nov 3rd
from Tweetie
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roommates at lunch: "I've never had sex in a car." "I have. Your car." "Yeah, I know. I was driving."
10:10 AM Nov 2nd
from Tweetie
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on NJ Transit tonight: 'I'm taking my son to visit his father in jail. Oh, and I'm sorry I threw up in your car.'
7:14 PM Nov 1st
from Tweetie
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"You're looking at their nipples. I'm looking at their faces."
11:09 AM Nov 1st
from Tweetie
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pick up line in the pub: "Your boobs. They're nice. Can I look at 'em?". Question is, did it work?
6:57 PM Oct 31st
from Tweetie
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gem of the morning: "nice zombie costume lil girl" "I'm not dressed up, I have excema" Ouch!
9:47 AM Oct 30th
from Tweetie
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in the office "I've just had to make some changes to my package". Who said office romance was dead?
3:30 AM Oct 29th
from Tweetie
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at school: "God knows, I pee in every pool I go in"
5:35 PM Oct 20th
from Tweetie
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the bride facebooked me to complain I didn't rsvp. I said, 'bitch, I'm the maid of honor!'
12:12 PM Oct 20th
from Tweetie
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in Brooklyn deli: "What kinda car you got? You got enough room in the trunk?" ... "Yeah about 2 or 3 bodies' worth."
7:37 PM Oct 19th
from Tweetie
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at Borders: "I wanna make her feel like the whore that she is." Aw, now that's love.
4:44 AM Oct 19th
from Tweetie
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"Yeah, this weather is amazing. If it were a man, I'd let it have its way with me."
5:43 PM Oct 18th
from Tweetie
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"This Michael Jackson costume is so bad, it doesn't even look like him. Tear the nose off. Oh yeah...now it does."
3:11 PM Oct 18th
from Tweetie
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in SB restaurant: if it's not syphilis that I have, what is it? If you have to ask, you don't want to know.
7:29 PM Oct 17th
from Tweetie
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