ottok
- That ShamWow guy better look both ways before crossing the street.10:27 AM Jun 28th from web
- @writerspry ARMAGEDDON PEOPLE?
ORDINARY ARMAGEDDON?
ARMAGEDDON SICK OF YOU?2:13 PM Jun 25th from web in reply to writerspry
- dialing my ninjas12:25 PM Jun 25th from web
- @gruber And yet you keep ending up with more and more iPhones in the house. I wonder if that's related.8:02 PM Jun 21st from Tweetie in reply to gruber
- So the Hallmark store now has a section of Father's Day cards for "if your dad is Darth Vader." This specialization has gone a bit far.11:35 AM Jun 21st from Tweetie
- Talking smack during chess with a peer: fine. Nerdy, but fine. Gloating during first game of Monopoly with my six year old: not so cool.1:07 PM Jun 20th from web
- Wrong number call:
Me: "Hello?"
Old lady: "Would you like to come over and cut some roses for me? I'm not feeling too steady on my feet."1:28 PM May 28th from web
- The wife poked at Twitter, decided it's a sign of all that is wrong with society. But honey, you've not seen a RT RT as Facebook status yet.10:58 AM May 28th from web
- Wondering why these chaps make my ass look fat. They're marketed as assless chaps.10:26 AM May 23rd from Tweetie
- Wondering why the keep-baby-dry technology in Pampers and Huggies isn't also being used for anti-drool pillowcases. Related: need pillows.9:14 PM May 22nd from Tweetie
- @oldgentleman Were they supposed to be related? ... Oh. Okay. They might be funnier if they're related. And I didn't explain it. Never mind.12:25 AM May 3rd from Tweetie in reply to oldgentleman
- Guy behind me at the store bought 80 pounds of pork roast and five pounds of rice. Normal week: party! This week: he's a terrorist, right?12:23 AM May 3rd from web
- @oldgentleman I was in a rest stop by 30.12:32 AM May 2nd from web in reply to oldgentleman
- Stuck a soapy finger in my eye, had several thoughts. 1. I'm a klutz. 2. Hope nobody finds out. 3. I've got to post this on social networks.12:29 AM May 2nd from web
- These photos would be better if they didn't suck.10:38 PM Apr 26th from web
- Bao are good as dumplings, but if frozen, also work nicely as exploding baseballs.3:54 PM Apr 21st from web
- Saw headline "Your Happiness: Do You Know Someone Who's Famous?" & tried to beat the internet to death; discovered internet is roach-like.1:00 AM Apr 19th from web
- I bought the @MacHeist 3 Bundle. 12 Top Mac apps worth $900+ for just $39 AND I just got Delicious Library 2 FREE! http://mhtweet.com/TfO1Me9:09 PM Apr 6th from web
- iTunes claims I've got "Ice Ice Baby" and I've listened to it three times and I wonder if I needs tech support, counseling, or an exorcist.7:35 PM Apr 3rd from web
- Spring, my ass.7:26 PM Apr 3rd from web
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- Name Otto
- Location inside my own head
- Web http://www.robots...
- Bio I am an escaped monkey from the zoo. Don't tell anyone.
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