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olibeale
On Vegas holiday with the boys. My catchphrase "what goes on tour goes online" hasn't gone down too well.6:10 PM Nov 21stfrom TweetDeck
Overheard a guy moaning about Channel 4+1 "All it is right is the shows on 4... But an hour later! Do they think we're idiots?"2:10 AM Nov 10thfrom Tweetie
If I was James Earl Jones i'd walk aroung all day singing "I'm James Earl Jones and I like it" to the tune of "I kissed a girl"8:55 AM Nov 9thfrom Tweetie
In my fireworks box there's a limited edition 'Roman Polanski Candle'. It's got a very short fuse and no child safety warnings.9:55 AM Nov 5thfrom TweetDeck
I'm wearing odd socks again today. (Odd in that they are actually gloves)5:02 AM Nov 4thfrom TweetDeck
I just ate a bag of 'Funions' onion rings. The name made onions "fun". Maybe undertakers should re-brand as Fundertakers.2:28 PM Oct 29thfrom TweetDeck
Only Glasgow airport could have a duty-free Greggs. Jesus Christ...2:59 AM Oct 8thfrom Tweetie
Make a supermarket cashier scan the following items in order while winking at her: Jelly, condoms, pins then Jelly Babies.6:02 AM Sep 30thfrom TweetDeck
