oalocke
Trying to work "that's beyond a man of my station" into conversation but as a man who regularly handles another human's shit, I got nothin'.
| 1/3/2/smoke/1 |
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| @phillygirl is the only person I've never met who I would happily have babysit my 2-year-old daughter. |
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| Finally, a bar soap we can all agree on. For her: artisanal, humanely-made and $8/ea. For me: it looks and smells just like Irish Spring. |
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| I managed to wear mismatched shoes to work today. I'm just gonna go with it and round out the look by pissing my pants. |
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| Yo Kai Sung, I hope you're still on twitter 'cause you haven't answered your cell all day. We still on for that nuke you promised me? D me. |
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| The best thing about hypermiling Prius drivers: you don't have to lead them as much. |
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| There is no way to say it's time to shave the Pomeranian without implying air quotes. Go ahead. Try. I'll wait. |
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| Woman, dog pack and kid away for a few hours. NIN on full blast. Remaining 2 cats are annoyed. Yea, well fuck the cats. |
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| It's gonna suck walking 15 miles home tonight but after listening to it, I thought my truck was a fair price to pay for the new Girl Talk. |
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| @jimray Next time I see it I'll ask. In trade, do you know where I can get a bulk rate on new or gently used cats? We're almost out. |
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| Living adjacent to a wilderness has inumerable upsides. Finding bobcat on your roof with a housecat in it's mouth is not one of them. |
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| One of the dogs went from death's door to chipper in 24 hrs. In between, she expelled a quart of goo so weird that it's now calculating Pi. |
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| These new headphones are amazing. I almost couldn't hear my wife screaming at me for spending $200 on a pair of headphones. |
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| Had the most wonderful dream... I was riding my pony, twittering on my 3g iPhone as @AinsleyofAttack beat Scoble's head with a skateboard. |
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| Year 1 they go through a shit-load of diapers. Year 2 you'll go through a shit-load of kibosh. You put it on everything. |
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| I hope I dropped acid this morning because if I didn't that means the MSN (toilet) Stall Newsletter I just saw was real. |
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| lazytweet: do I have to throw away the dead possum on my deck or can it be recycled?..hate the thought of our landfills full of dead possums |
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| Wishing my iPhone could mate with my Kindle. It'd be like a hot, smart librarian who secretly likes go to raves and dance in her underwear. |
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| FBI: Rachael Rayat local Olive Garden with 2 dozen cans of Chef Boyardee strapped to her chest; demands breadsticks, salad be set 'free'. |
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