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nshowe

  1. "Just one more lap", said the cat. 5:03 PM Nov 19th from mobile web
  2. I found myself after an out of body experience. 12:23 AM Nov 6th from web
  3. Somebody said the bird flu. I am like yes thats what they do. Duh! 1:38 AM Oct 12th from web
  4. Thats the breaks I said as I slid into the intersection. 12:10 AM Sep 23rd from web
  5. I'm not making sense. 2:49 AM Sep 7th from web
  6. Call me superficial but I tried to fake my own death. 2:28 PM Aug 26th from web
  7. IRS got me locked up so I had to file my way out. 10:58 AM Aug 5th from web
  8. It's painful to realize that no matter how much you want to fit in sometimes, kangaroos just don't have that much pocket space. 11:25 PM Aug 4th from web
  9. I eat chainsaws for breakfast. 4:18 PM Aug 1st from txt
  10. When its raining really hard outside I think to myself, "How am I going to explain this to my indoor plants?" 4:17 PM Jul 19th from web
  11. I found my finger! 8:46 PM Jul 17th from web
  12. Watch out for sommelier pirates who will hijack your boat then steal your wine. 8:39 PM Jul 15th from web
  13. I think its time to overthrow the condiments. The mustards are getting restless. 4:20 PM Jul 12th from web
  14. I got lost once in an IKEA for a month. I was starving and eventually I just checked out. 7:43 PM Jul 9th from web
  15. My poster of Peter Pan was framed and then hung. Captain Hook was called in for questioning. 3:37 PM Jul 8th from web
  16. "It's not my fault", said the earthquake scientist after a 6.3. 6:47 PM Jul 7th from web
  17. I paid ransom of a $1.50. But it was never recovered. 6:41 PM Jul 7th from web
  18. It happened again. Clouds punched me in the face and floated away screaming. 6:49 PM Jul 6th from web
  19. ARR M'80 said the dangerous pirate lighting his cigar. 5:00 PM Jul 4th from txt
  20. Save me from my shelf. 9:42 PM Jul 3rd from txt