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nshowe

  1. "Just one more lap", said the cat.
  2. I found myself after an out of body experience.
  3. Somebody said the bird flu. I am like yes thats what they do. Duh!
  4. Thats the breaks I said as I slid into the intersection.
  5. I'm not making sense.
  6. Call me superficial but I tried to fake my own death.
  7. IRS got me locked up so I had to file my way out.
  8. It's painful to realize that no matter how much you want to fit in sometimes, kangaroos just don't have that much pocket space.
  9. I eat chainsaws for breakfast.
  10. When its raining really hard outside I think to myself, "How am I going to explain this to my indoor plants?"
  11. I found my finger!
  12. Watch out for sommelier pirates who will hijack your boat then steal your wine.
  13. I think its time to overthrow the condiments. The mustards are getting restless.
  14. I got lost once in an IKEA for a month. I was starving and eventually I just checked out.
  15. My poster of Peter Pan was framed and then hung. Captain Hook was called in for questioning.
  16. "It's not my fault", said the earthquake scientist after a 6.3.
  17. I paid ransom of a $1.50. But it was never recovered.
  18. It happened again. Clouds punched me in the face and floated away screaming.
  19. ARR M'80 said the dangerous pirate lighting his cigar.
  20. Save me from my shelf.