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nowaffles

  1. Lou Diamond Phillips and Ione Sky playing a hair-raising and potentially lethal game of chicken in matching Kia Rios. 2:22 AM May 31st via web
  2. Aaaaaaaaaah! I got unguent in my eye! #unguent 2:20 AM May 31st via web
  3. Someday you're going to have to answer for pretending to like all these shitty Pitchfork buzz bands. 2:19 AM May 31st via web
  4. Spread miso paste in and around your vagina for a salty boudoir surprise. #cosmotip 2:16 AM May 31st via web
  5. This Trader Joe's is obviously built on a hellmouth. 2:15 AM May 31st via web
  6. "I attribute my success with women to my deep and abiding respect for their gender, and also to this bag full of kittens I take everywhere." 4:36 PM May 30th via web
  7. @MidFidelity Thank you, sir. It's amazing what that coastal air will do for you, you know? 4:35 PM May 30th via web in reply to MidFidelity
  8. 90% of Tumblr is too young to know that the first part of that last entry is a The Craft reference. #fairuzailoveyou 12:01 PM May 30th via web
  9. "Is that a chick? If that's a chick she's super hot." THANKS FOR BEING ANDROGYNOUS, ASSHOLES. 5:40 PM May 29th via Echofon
  10. @TheScottRider I will probably high five the Mitten on my way to the UK. Maybe. Mostly I just want to ride the Amtrak cross-country again. 11:38 AM May 29th via web in reply to TheScottRider
  11. @TheScottRider Married life would be great if the wife and I were on the same fucking continent. #incontinent 11:38 AM May 29th via web in reply to TheScottRider
  12. @TheScottRider I think I was a 'no invite no show' which is similar but much more sad. 10:47 AM May 29th via web in reply to TheScottRider
  13. @jakuman If you've ever had to peel a shrimp you would know the answer to that question is a resounding yes. 10:22 AM May 29th via web in reply to jakuman
  14. Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be bloggers. 10:21 AM May 29th via web
  15. "My new blade. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, I've named it." -Joffrey Weaselface 12:13 AM May 29th via web
  16. @TizaMafira Thank you, ma'am. I'm pretty excited. 2:03 AM May 28th via web in reply to TizaMafira
  17. "That bear is concerned with child safety," he thought, then felt somewhat better about life. #carebear 12:00 PM May 22nd via web
  18. Nictitating membranes, y'all. Dig it. 1:57 AM May 19th via web
  19. I'm bleeding from several unexpected wounds. 1:56 AM May 19th via web
  20. "I don't wanna wait! For these guys to get boners ..." (to the tune of Paula Cole's smash hit) #workjams 1:55 AM May 19th via web
  • Name Justin Valmassoi
  • Location Seattle, WA
  • Web http://animalstal...
  • Bio Ausbrecher. I write/publish a bevy of terrible 'zines you will likely never read.
195 Following 931 Followers 32 Listed