nostrich
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Tried to google cigarette lighters and got a bunch of matches.
about 9 hours ago
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Hastily adding "it's ok, I don't mind."
about 23 hours ago
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In a fit of laughter, I apologised, "sorry, you looked really dumb for a second."
about 23 hours ago
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Know what really floats my boat? An upward buoyancy force equal to the weight of fluid displaced. And tits.
9:17 AM Nov 21st
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@ is the lucky woman, for anyone that doesn't know. She's the one, you guys.
9:55 AM Nov 13th
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Married for an hour and we're already arguing. About who cried first. (It was totally me.)
9:20 AM Nov 13th
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Heather won't let me postpone our marriage tomorrow so I can get good and drunk tonight. The oppression begins. A day early!
3:35 PM Nov 12th
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Hey, Illustrator... Hey! Adobe Illustrator! ... Over here! Come here, Illustrator! ... Psych! Fuck you, Adobe Illustrator!
11:30 AM Nov 11th
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Say what you want about Hitler, but without him, we'd have no History Channel.
8:08 AM Nov 11th
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I turn to my left, look right at her, and whisper: "I'm peeing right now." Instantly, she falls out of love with me.
7:24 PM Nov 7th
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Going to a punk-rock night. Looking "preppy" according to Heather. Jesus christ I'm going to die tonight.
7:21 PM Nov 7th
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When my mother found out I liked stoner rock she warned about the dangers of drugs. I was totally high at the time, BUT SO NOT THE POINT MOM
9:17 AM Nov 7th
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I know we're all busy trying to fix cancer, but could we devote some time to figuring out how, exactly, one rinses a colander after use?
2:54 PM Nov 4th
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God damn this shitty toilet paper... Oh hey! Guy in a poncho!
6:08 AM Nov 3rd
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Let's argue about how retarded NaNoWriMo is! You be the "writer" that is An Expert On This, and I'll play guy that doesn't give a shit.
12:14 PM Nov 2nd
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Just saw black Santa doing shots with the Incredible Hulk.
6:00 PM Oct 31st
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Heather on the phone: "....... Are you guys talking about Farmville?"
2:54 PM Oct 31st
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"I love you," she says. Smiling, I lean in, kiss her neck, sigh, and whisper into her ear: "I'm farting. Right now." I wink. She leaves.
5:05 PM Oct 30th
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Imagine fingering Sarah Palin. Now try NOT to imagine it next time you’re pulling hair out of the plughole.
You’re welcome.
12:28 PM Oct 28th
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Fuck Halloween. This year, I'm telling everyone I'm going as balloon boy, and in the spirit of authenticity, staying at home.
6:18 AM Oct 28th
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- Name nostrich
- Location Indianapolis, IN
- Web http://quisby.net
- Bio Social & Viral Marketing Scientist #social #media #scientist #gofuckyourself
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