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NikolHasler

  1. Why do I have to be so negative? #red about 17 hours ago from web
  2. Apparently it is not World Adidas Day. Can we make that tomorrow? Otherwise I bought the outfit for nothing. about 21 hours ago from web
  3. Cuddling up with a good quarterly http://fray.com/issue3/ 9:34 PM Nov 30th from web
  4. If you haven't heard, Comedy Central isn't picking up the show. We're not all washed up, though. In fact, we haven't bathed in a long time. 5:08 PM Nov 30th from web
  5. Me: I think it's fun that there's a John August & a John December! Him: I don't know who John December is. Me: Oh, well he's another guy. 9:59 AM Nov 30th from web
  6. Gonna open a restaurant. Indian place. No Jews allowed. Calling it Goys and Dhals. 8:40 PM Nov 29th from web
  7. Hey @trelvix do you remember that time when I told you what happens when I eat cucumbers? And then you unfollowed me? It still hurts. 8:02 PM Nov 29th from web
  8. RT @StereoForBrains: Today, go out and make the world a better place. Tell a stranger you love them. Just try not to sound so sarcastic ... 7:58 PM Nov 29th from web
  9. I just barfed on the stair climbing machine at the gym. The puffy faced girl next to me commended my multi-tasking. 5:26 PM Nov 29th from txt
  10. Oh! I am just catching on. The new RT function is kind of nifty. When will people come with OH buttons on their necks? 10:07 AM Nov 29th from web
  11. Ladies, I'm sure you will be interested http://london.craigslist.co.uk/m4w/1454237996.html in this 9:54 PM Nov 28th from web
  12. I'd laugh about the noises my poop is making, but laughing makes me puke. PleaseLetMeGetBetter 10:44 AM Nov 26th from txt
  13. I can't wait or Friday to get here so I can start making racist jokes. 12:19 PM Nov 25th from web
  14. Aww shit. We have a lady pilot. She better not bleed on things or crash because she sees a sale. 1:07 PM Nov 23rd from txt
  15. To clear things up: I admit that it was me who put the bomp in the bomp sha bomp sha bomp. I'm available for handshaking Tues. 6:39 PM Nov 21st from web
  16. Is it a sin to make your girlfriend masturbate? http://www.milwaukeemagazine.com/lovesexetc/default.asp?NewMessageID=25140 2:21 PM Nov 21st from web
  17. My silk pajama clad son has an empty wine rack in his room for future use. Guess the cycle doesn't end with that kid. 9:03 PM Nov 20th from txt
  18. For too long I've accepted the lyrics of Hound Dog. I'm done judging myself based on my ability to catch rabbits. Let the healing begin. 10:12 AM Nov 19th from txt
  19. Dammit, dad, I don't need an intervention I need a bloody mary. You know nothing about curing hang overs. 10:04 AM Nov 19th from txt
  20. I just found a condom on the ground. It was a beer condom. Because I'm in Wisconsin. 4:32 PM Nov 18th from txt