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nightmareant

  1. Whatever you do, do NOT put that fat ass baby to sleep tonight: http://tinyurl.com/8u34yq 1:16 PM Jan 12th from web
  2. In retaliation for losing that gay-ass Deadspin thing, I'm going to violate your parents BEFORE I eat them. It's your fault. 1:31 PM Dec 12th, 2008 from web
  3. If I could tell you one thing this Thanksgiving Day, it would it be to go crazy with the gravy. You taste so much better tender ... 2:14 PM Nov 26th, 2008 from web
  4. I can't decide if I hate humans more than I love their taste. 3:22 PM Nov 20th, 2008 from mobile web
  5. Mr. T owes me so many royalty checks for ghostwriting his entire Rocky III dialogue. If his skin wasn't 12 inches thick, he'd be delicious. 9:31 PM Nov 17th, 2008 from web
  6. I eat Brock Lesnars for lunch. 10:38 PM Nov 15th, 2008 from web
  7. I'm in your DREAMZ, making a muck. 12:56 AM Nov 15th, 2008 from web
  8. My favorite color is blue, unless I'm in contact with oxygen, then it's red. 12:34 PM Nov 14th, 2008 from web
  9. Are you wondering how can you hate humans while still thinking they're delicious? Come a little closer and I'll explain. 8:19 AM Nov 12th, 2008 from web
  10. Sorry I haven't Twittered lately, I've been trying to find myself. Funny thing is, is that I'm always in the same place: under your bed. 2:23 PM Nov 10th, 2008 from web
  11. Those Obamas sure look tasty. 10:40 PM Nov 4th, 2008 from web
  12. I'm changing it up this year. Rather than just being a homicidal, psychotic ant, I'm going to be a SEXY homicidal, psychotic ant. 2:14 PM Oct 31st, 2008 from web
  13. I LOVE when NBA teams cut players, for I then get to also cut players. With my teeth. And my other teeth. 1:41 PM Oct 27th, 2008 from mobile web
  14. They say heart disease is the number one killer in America. I guess international murders don't count. 1:31 PM Oct 20th, 2008 from web
  15. NEWS FLASH: Giant ants are detrimental to your health. Side effects include: having your flesh devoured, brain explosions, bleeding ulcers. 2:42 PM Oct 16th, 2008 from web
  16. Sure, I want kids someday. To eat. 3:34 PM Oct 15th, 2008 from web
  17. UGH, I must have eaten some bad human. I feel sick to my ant stomach. Luckily, my vomit tastes better coming up. 12:54 PM Oct 14th, 2008 from web
  18. The only door I hold for females is the entrance to the seventh level of hell. Nice to see you all down here. 9:40 PM Oct 13th, 2008 from web
  19. I ghostwrote "Body Count" for Ice-T. Believe me, the original lyrics were way more intense. And erotic. 11:27 AM Oct 13th, 2008 from web
  20. Admit it. Me thinking your name is terrifying. Right, @nastinchka? 1:12 PM Oct 12th, 2008 from mobile web