Nick_Nolte
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They say imitation's the sincerest form of flattery, but I reckon a BJ's just as nice.
about 16 hours ago
from Tweetie
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What's goin on, where am I? Is Thanksgivin over already? Hot damn, I love a good food coma.
10:39 AM Nov 29th
from Tweetie
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Hot damn, this tryptophan's really kickin my ass. It's either that or the morphine.
5:27 PM Nov 26th
from twidroid
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Best part a drinkin @ under the table is I can blame my farts on him the rest of the night.
1:01 PM Nov 26th
from twidroid
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My pet iguana, Keith Richards. Tell you what, that lizard can hold his liquor. Not like the last one.
12:59 PM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
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People always mess up Thanksgiving recipes. You ask me, the tastiest stuffing is turkey guts, the way god intended.
9:56 AM Nov 24th
from Tweetie
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Aw hell, I think I swallowed one a them Salvation Army bells. The noise is killin my hangover.
9:09 AM Nov 23rd
from Tweetie
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Son of a bitch kids! Stay away from Nolte's computer! I was just restin my eyes! Where am I?
10:17 AM Nov 22nd
from Tweetie
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You ask me, it don't get much better than a bum wearing 3-D glasses.
11:17 AM Nov 21st
from web
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Havin a tall glass a bourbon with a couple valiums crushed up in it. It's what I like to call a liquid nap.
11:51 AM Nov 20th
from web
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Look, officer, I know I ain't a stranger to machetes & taco thievery, but it weren't me. It was probably @
9:32 AM Nov 20th
from web
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They say dogs are man's best friend, but Tapatio's gotta be a close second.
8:59 AM Nov 20th
from web
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Call me old fashioned, but I reckon a man shouldn't wear jewelry unless it's made outta snake parts.
1:27 PM Nov 19th
from web
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Other night I went out drinkin' with Lou Holtz. Couldn't understand a word he said. That guy slurs worse than I do.
9:37 AM Nov 19th
from web
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Tell ya what, two things that should never go together are grain alcohol and open manholes.
8:49 AM Nov 19th
from web
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What has one thumb and likes blow jobs? My buddy Chet, he lost his left arm in a lathe accident.
1:45 PM Nov 17th
from web
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Gather round, kiddies, let uncle Nick teach ya how to cook up a speedball.
5:20 PM Nov 14th
from web
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Hot damn, Friday night. Think I'm gonna pop a couple dilaudid and watch @ chase my laser pointer around the wall.
2:31 PM Nov 13th
from web
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If it's karaoke you're after, I reckon ya can't go wrong with the Doobie Brothers.
12:36 PM Nov 12th
from web
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One time at a saloon down in Mexicali, Lou Dobbs challenged me to a hollerin contest. He dint win, but he earned my respect.
8:36 AM Nov 12th
from web
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- Name Nick Nolte's Mugshot
- Location a catatonic state
- Bio Aw, hell. (not affil w/the real Nick Nolte)
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