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nick

Only 38 people watched my latest clip at http://theblankwhitecards.com -- it's 47 freaking seconds, what do you people want from me?

nick In five years, Michael Ian Black will be asking people to call @mat "Mathew Hopnan."
nick Having just fallen off the edge of Gawker's needs, I need a new regular writing gig. I'll be, uh, here if you need me.
nick @juliaallison Oh darling, don't be silly. I want to be invited to write for them again.
nick A magazine was foolish enough to say yes to an article about wittiest Twitterers. There must be tons left whom I'm not following. Name them!
nick Good news! The team at The Long Now was able to copy Eno's mind into a force-grown clone. He's lost a couple days but is stable.
nick Eno's death on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wik... I thought of adding it but I'd feel too morbid.
nick "A part of me has become immortal, out of my control." How true, Brian Eno. (1948-2008)
nick Roommate borrowed "How To Win Friends And Influence People" for 6 months and left it by the toilet. Asking her to read it closer this time.
nick Breakspin and Pretendyousawthemovie have been claimed. I still have the others as well as, um, platoscaveman.com. For a pretentious blogger?
nick Does anyone want dailygoatse.com, miffd.com, lefter.tv, stuffonmyass.com, ultimatezings.com, breakspin.com, or pretendyousawthemovie.com?
nick Trying to tell people I learned the YLNT theme. Sounding like Dwight Schrute. "Do you listen to YLNT?" "No." That's because you're stupid."
nick In my new sketch at http://theblankwhitecards.com I fall in love with a waitress at Chevy's. (We will Ebay the sombrero for charity.)
nick Listing online euphemisms (not just jokey definitions) for Gawker: Viral = cheap, experimental = failed. Got one?
nick From "white elephant" and "elephant in the room" comes the word for the guy no one wants to see at the party: Social Elephant.
nick Name my movie about the startup/blogger crowds. OMG? Chattering Classes? Blogged? Startup?
nick My comedy show started today! http://theblankwhitecards.com features me, Jared Horney, and spit takes.
nick @FarkerPeaceboy When you measure your unfollowers by the hundreds, then you will be a man. Related: Ass cunt cocksucker mick wop donkeypunch
nick Support your community. Favorite more tweets. (Or help at a soup kitchen but, ugh, POOR PEOPLE.)
nick Watching *Celebrity*. The male lead in any Woody Allen film talks like Woody Allen, and *I don't mind*.