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myqkaplan

  1. if you make a ghost costume by poking eyeholes in a sheet, don't be wasteful; you can reuse it later for a hassidic threesome.
  2. someone told me i shouldn't see the movie 'milk' because i'm a vegan. someone else told me i should, because being a vegan is gay.
  3. is how one feels about the nature/nurture debate learned or inherited?
  4. i like to think of wolf blitzer as a guy who blitzes wolves.
  5. this girl i met at a blood drive wasn't my type.
  6. when einstein tells fairy tales, they begin "once upon a space/time..."
  7. i used to love david duchovny's sci-fi show. i'm an ex-x-file-ophile.
  8. i'm thinking of opening a pub for bikers called 'the handle bar.' (bikers love puns, right?)
  9. if i want to fight a girl, i say "put up your duchesses."
  10. scottish people are just like the rest of us. they put their kilts on one leg at a time.
  11. @supercujo of course, if eleven is two ones doing it, then a hash mark # is an orgy of ones. (that's why it's called the "pound" sign.)
  12. @spanishfilmfest yes, and also equals sign = a hyphen as seen through the eyes of a drunk.
  13. the equals sign = an eleven in disguise = two ones doing it = a non-anthropomorphic symbol of egalitarianism.
  14. e.e. cummings was not a fan of capitalism, according to his letters.
  15. what do young jungle cats call older but still sexy lady jungle cats? (answer: probably something like a growl.)
  16. i saw a recent gallop poll which found that 99% of horses said 'nay.' which is weird because i thought they enjoyed galloping.
  17. @SteveDelfino maybe nipples are the relevant factor. to test this hypothesis, does anyone know what word cannibals use for human meat?
  18. @NobleRot 'poultry,' the closest name chicken has as a disguise, is alas shared with many other birds, and also rarely used. it's not kfP.
  19. @senorcorazon 'finger' and 'mcnugget' would be good aliases if chicken wasn't so intent on continuing to use its first name, too.
  20. cow is beef, pig is pork, and even deer is venison. so why doesn't chicken have a secret identity for being eaten?