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mrstevenpyatt

  1. #womenshouldnever leave the seat up when she's done peeing. 8:21 PM Dec 10th from web
  2. #womenshouldnever ask where that $300 dollars went on a friday night. 8:14 PM Dec 10th from web
  3. #womenshouldnever ask why my socks have the rigidity of a boomerang and are sticky. 8:13 PM Dec 10th from web
  4. #womenshouldnever fight when I cover their mouth with the ether-soaked t-shirt. 8:10 PM Dec 10th from web
  5. Hey deaf girl in the kay jewelers ad, i buy you a ring & you cant do some marlee matlin grunt talk? Thats bush league. I learned sign la ... 5:44 PM Dec 8th from txt
  6. Welcome to Moe's. Your itinerary: 1. We yell at you. 2. You purchase and eat 8 lb burrito. 3. 2 hrs from now, you shit cilantro and blood 6:59 PM Dec 1st from Netvibes
  7. I just generated my #TweetCloud out of a year of my tweets. Top three words: shit, yeah, people - http://w33.us/2r3w 5:45 PM Nov 29th from Tweet Cloud
  8. Time to head to parent's house to eat and watch football and secretly kick the shit out of the family dog. Happy Thanksgiving, fags. 12:15 PM Nov 26th from web
  9. In an effort to get into the holiday spirit I've shaved my head.Uncle Fester is in the house. Let's eat fuckers. Don't throw me down, Clark. 12:10 PM Nov 26th from web
  10. Current Royce Da 5'9" song I'm crazy obessed over: Dinner Time http://www.djbooth.net/index/tracks/radio/royce-da-59-dinner-time/ 11:07 AM Nov 22nd from Ubiquity
  11. The Hangover: yet another of the comedies I'm supposed to love & I just think it's okay. 11:04 AM Nov 22nd from Ubiquity
  12. @Lhkwok As do I, my man. Hope all is well with you. 7:01 PM Nov 19th from web in reply to Lhkwok
  13. @Lhkwok Thank you, sir. My sensei on free mashup songs. 6:28 PM Nov 19th from web in reply to Lhkwok
  14. Oops, painted myself into corner. Don't know I can come up with anything more offensive than "nervous of black people" #nottosayonfirstdate 6:23 PM Nov 19th from web
  15. @Anthony_boogie Thanks, man. I was pretty proud of that one. 6:09 PM Nov 19th from web in reply to Anthony_boogie
  16. #nottosayonfirstdate I get a little nervous around black people. Will that be a problem? I don't hate them, but they scare me. 6:00 PM Nov 19th from web
  17. #nottosayonfirstdate A.C. Green was my favorite basketball player. 5:59 PM Nov 19th from web
  18. #nottosayonfirstdate Yeah, feet and poop is kind of my thing. Are you done with those prunes? 5:58 PM Nov 19th from web
  19. #nottosayonfirstdate I can't guarantee I won't hit on your mom. Depends on what she looks like. 5:56 PM Nov 19th from web
  20. #nottosayonfirstdate Do you smell that? Smells like jews. 5:55 PM Nov 19th from web