mrseancullen
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I saw a commercial that told me to ask my doctor about Lipitor. The problem is my doctor and I are not speaking. I hope we can work it out.
about 3 hours ago
from TwitterBerry
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Had a Kobe Dog at the Captors game. It raped me and bought its wife a diamond ring. Success.
4:06 PM Nov 24th
from TwitterBerry
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I am sitting in my pants.
1:14 PM Nov 24th
from TwitterBerry
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@ Thanks. proper spelling is Cacheevo. Learn it. Love it. Cacheevo!
10:08 AM Nov 24th
from web
in reply to bradgosse
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I was driving by Mandarin Chinese Buffet and the marquee read "Crab Leg Celebration". There is no celebration in Crabtown.
10:07 AM Nov 24th
from web
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The word for the day is Cacheevo. What is Cacheevo? Who is Cacheevo? Where is Cacheevo? The answer to all of these questions is yes! YES!
9:59 AM Nov 24th
from web
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I am performing a benefit tonight for the gilda's club. It is going to be great. I am performing oral surgery on a possum.
3:53 PM Nov 23rd
from TwitterBerry
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Back in Toronto. Men are building a house next door. It is shaped like a giant human penis covered with aluminum siding. Erotic yet homely.
7:08 AM Nov 23rd
from TwitterBerry
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I have linked a horse to my cell phone and when I get a text message, she whinnies.
9:17 AM Nov 21st
from TwitterBerry
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I am test driving the new ford sync system driving around with members of the public. One of them tried to molest me. I resisted. Success!
7:32 AM Nov 21st
from TwitterBerry
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I'm in a mall in newmarket telling people about ford's new Sync system. You can talk to your car and it will do things for you. Creepy. Neat
8:06 AM Nov 20th
from TwitterBerry
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Woke up this morning in a pile of corn grits with Baron Samedi standing naked over me. I love the Holiday Inn New Orleans.
8:25 AM Nov 18th
from TwitterBerry
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I am in New Orleans. It is a clear misty night. The moon is eerie and full. I walk the streets alone... Shit! I've been bitten by a robot!
5:22 PM Nov 17th
from TwitterBerry
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I am in New Orleans doing a comedy show. I went to the French Quarter and a group of toughs filled my bowel with cajun seasonings. Spicy!
12:24 PM Nov 17th
from TwitterBerry
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On my way to New Orleans. I hope to be greeted at the airport by a giant sentient crawdad. Success?
5:05 AM Nov 16th
from TwitterBerry
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Or, better yet, if I were a stripper, i'd get my pilot's license and strip in the cockpit.
1:30 PM Nov 14th
from TwitterBerry
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Why are there so many strip clubs near the airport? If strippers are so vital to air travel, why isn't there a strip club in the airport?
1:29 PM Nov 14th
from TwitterBerry
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I drove past a hot dog stand today that had a sign reading "Ham and Beef Fountain". What a greasy water feature. I'd love to bathe in meat.
10:59 AM Nov 13th
from TwitterBerry
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My apartment is so tiny in Hollywood that I van barely fit all my loneliness and failure into it. I'm getting a storage space.
3:25 PM Nov 12th
from TwitterBerry
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I went for a haircut with my son. His hair is now exquisite, while mine is filled with rage. I try to comb it but it screams in Chinese.
3:23 PM Nov 12th
from TwitterBerry
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- Name Sean Cullen
- Location Toronto
- Bio I have a giant laser in my skull, I love meat that tastses like chicken. I can't barf.
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