motorjoan
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Jessica Simpson is dating Billy Corgan. Clearly the end-times are upon us.
about 2 hours ago
from web
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Tiger Woods' giant white hyuck hyuck dork teeth making him an unconvincing bad guy, just as they made him an unconvincing golf heart-throb.
about 5 hours ago
from web
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Everything I ever needed to know, I learned from @
about 23 hours ago
from web
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@ That's great news! I hope you think of me every time you pee.
about 23 hours ago
from web
in reply to erinizzystark
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The inside of my mouth has tasted like envelopes for the last 1/2 hr for no apparent reason. I suspect witchcraft.
2:58 PM Dec 3rd
from web
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RT @: "if mom finds out she'll blow a cow!"
1:42 PM Nov 27th
from web
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I want D'Orgz to propose with Divorce Jewellery:
11:39 AM Nov 27th
from web
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- True love is not having to say sorry for eating popcorn before bed. xo!
8:43 AM Nov 25th
from TwitPic
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A 3 hour intensive drum lesson last night nudged my smashing style over a bit on the PAINFUL->PUNISHING continuum. Fucking rawr, buddies.
10:32 AM Nov 24th
from web
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All you fucking cats can herd your damn selves!
9:16 AM Nov 24th
from web
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@ Your avatar is ruining my life.
8:36 AM Nov 24th
from web
in reply to myownbiggestfan
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This just ate 4 hours of my work day...
12:31 PM Nov 23rd
from web
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It makes me so happy to know this guy exists in the world. Terminal assholes rule hard!
10:47 AM Nov 23rd
from web
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@ Woah! She's a shrimp! This is my second raging lady crush RUINED by shortness. First Beyonce's a midge and now JOAN? FTW!!!
11:53 AM Nov 20th
from web
in reply to myownbiggestfan
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I accidentally wore slutty pants to the office and now I don't want to get up from my desk.
8:55 AM Nov 20th
from web
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- Twyla just sent this, I had forgotten. C.2005 Being assaulted by ass smells in the workplace is apparently a cons
1:26 PM Nov 19th
from TwitPic
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Attention All At-Work-Poopers: Light a friggin' match. Best Regards, Amelia Aspen.
11:37 AM Nov 19th
from web
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Aside from kicking, don't know how I coulda made it more obvi to crying coworker that Im not a HUGGER. & yet here I am w snot on my cardigan
9:41 AM Nov 19th
from web
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@ I KNOW. I am so conflicted about Glee. It's the vague stink of Freaks & Geeks that keeps me hanging on. But LOM was TOO MUCH!!
8:44 AM Nov 19th
from web
in reply to MathewJohn
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@ Well, you DO have a baby, and are therefore a dude who knows how to make use of a mattress...
8:38 AM Nov 19th
from web
in reply to shmeeli
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- Name motorjoan
- Location Dirt City
- Bio Biding time, blowing it, fits of nostalgia while fretting about aging.
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