mommywantsvodka
- Lunesta leaves my mouth tasting like I just licked an ashtray clean. YUM.about 2 hours ago from web
- Not sure if I should be more horrified because there's an ant somewhere in my popcorn or because I'm eating it anyway.about 3 hours ago from TwitterFon
- Dude, Twitter, can I tell you how awesome it is to be friends with some of you on Facebook? You crack my ass up. (want to be friends?)about 6 hours ago from web
- @dmoola It's likely that I am the candy bar everyone throws away from the Halloween candy. Maybe a contaminated Baby Ruth with razor blades?about 7 hours ago from web
- Also: your mom.about 7 hours ago from TwitterFon
- Dear Facebook. Stop with the fucking quizzes already. Who gives a flying shit which candy bar you are?about 7 hours ago from TwitterFon
- Thanks to @BusyDadBlog I found the dicklicks that followed me only to unfollow me. So long, fuckheads! (friendorfollow.com)about 10 hours ago from web
- Okay, Twitter, can you help a sister out? How can I tell who isn't following me back so I can delete their pointless tweets?about 10 hours ago from web
- Triple exclamation points really drive a point home. Not really sure it's the RIGHT point. But you know.about 11 hours ago from web
- You totally know that crazy bitch saved his pee in a jar.about 11 hours ago from web
- Comment boxes + relative anonymity = assbags: http://www.mommywantsvodka....about 11 hours ago from web
- I have lofty goals of cleaning out my in-box today. Feel free to start laughing now.about 14 hours ago from web
- Thank you, Yo Gabba Gabba for the news. You are NOT, apparently, supposed to bite your friends. Who knew?7:09 PM Jul 8th from TwitterFon
- Huh. Who knew Cheese Brats had so much oil in them. Thank you Alli for colorfully showing me.12:10 PM Jul 8th from web
- If they ban Vicodin, I will be forced to move to Outer Space.11:39 AM Jul 8th from web
- I will attempt to dazzle you with boring pictures! http://www.mommywantsvodka....10:55 AM Jul 8th from web
- Woke up this AM with "Rock With You" in my head, which is a sure sign Michael Jackson is communicating to me from The Afterlife.8:09 AM Jul 8th from web
- Rest In Peace, sweet Bean. I hope the angels are singing you to sleep tonight.8:49 PM Jul 7th from web
- What was I posting about tomorrow, Twitter? I'd prefer that you do my work for me while I lounge about, complaining.7:35 PM Jul 7th from TwitterFon
- RT @AMomTwoBoys: Much love to @mamaspohr, @newbornidentity and #Maddie. Now and always. xoxo7:30 PM Jul 7th from TwitterFon
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- Name Aunt Becky
- Location iPhone: 41.916595,-88.314285
- Web http://mommywants...
- Bio Hotter Than Your Wife
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