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mommywantsvodka

  1. @AureliaCotta I'm thinking that the penis is mostly just for show. Not macabre, or anything, just for writing one's name in the snow.
  2. Okay, a monkey butler, a detachable penis and a sombrero.
  3. Okay, a monkey butler AND a detachable penis.
  4. I am telling you that if I had a monkey butler, my life would be complete.
  5. @pphone Dude. Good call on that. Reviews seem entirely mixed on the train tables. Which make me very confused now.
  6. @JessicaMargot You should start a therapy fund for your future crotch parasites NOW then.
  7. @myopicprod Are you saying that I need to hump a blues singer? Would it be like osmosis?
  8. @chrishokeblog I'd need to somehow find a female blues singer's soul to eat. And those are sort of in short supply.
  9. @lizinvirginia Great point. I really don't want the angst. I tried angst "my coffee is black, like my soul." I sucked at it.
  10. @Reace84 Amy Winehouse is an amazing R & B singer. I'm totally rooting for a comeback for her. Also, her boob job is luscious.
  11. I mean, I could fuck a blues singer, but somehow that wouldn't make me able to belt out a sweet ass riff like her.
  12. Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" just never stops sounding amazing. Shit, I wish I was a fucking blues singer.
  13. @mssundastood THEY MAKE COSTCO BOTTLES OF VODKA? That's full of the AWESOME.
  14. @alittlepregnant Shit, I PET my bottles of vodka as I croon softly to them. Er, I mean, THINK OF THE CHILDREN, YOU WHORE.
  15. I admit that I'm kind of enamored by the adorableness of the small Effen vodka bottles.
  16. @alittlepregnant @AureliaCotta That's kind of what I was thinking about doing. Since my downstairs is kid-chic anyway, it'll be dual action!
  17. Are train tables a scary GOOD idea or a scary BAD idea?
  18. Kind of thinking that Alex has been possessed by The Devil today. *rolls up sleeves* Time for an Exorcism, Twitter.
  19. So this is what it's come to: protein shakes instead of meals. Apparently, I am a geriatric. #damnkidsonmylawn
  20. @lordwilliam Oh yes, frosting is a food group. Like salsa, ketchup, and queso. GOOD CALL.