Profile_bird

Hey there! momma_michelle is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving momma_michelle's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

momma_michelle

  1. If you want to buy a strand of Michael Jackson's hair, I've got a Madonna pap smear for sale. 1:26 PM Oct 14th from Tweetie
  2. I dodged the bullet and was not chosen for jury duty. I'm taking my $37 and going home. 10:59 AM Aug 25th from Tweetie
  3. Nothing like a little Whitesnake in the morning. 4:35 AM Aug 21st from txt
  4. Just had my first mammogram. In a word: weird. 1:48 PM Aug 17th from txt
  5. @gerber1701 He is going to get his ass kicked! 8:36 AM Aug 17th from Tweetie in reply to gerber1701
  6. What would I rather be doing than sitting in a doctor's waiting room? Let me think... 1:27 PM Aug 10th from txt
  7. I have a sunburn on my wrists and the backs of my hands from applying sunscreen, washing my hands, and then cutting my grass. I'm an idiot. 9:13 PM Aug 1st from Tweetie
  8. @bonimaroni1 yes, but just the back yard because she drank cheap wine while cutting the front yard and was too tipsy to finish. 5:03 PM Jul 29th from Tweetie in reply to bonimaroni1
  9. Just told my kids that their great grandma's first name was Fortuna. They may never stop laughing. 3:28 PM Jul 29th from Tweetie
  10. If you try the bathroom door knob and it's locked, why would you knock? Do you really need any more confirmation that someone is in here? 8:51 AM Jul 28th from Tweetie
  11. @gerber1701 did we buy that? 3:29 PM Jul 17th from Tweetie in reply to gerber1701
  12. @Brooksbh I was going to but I deleted it after showing Gerald. Sorry you missed out. 5:54 PM Jul 13th from Tweetie in reply to Brooksbh
  13. What's better than your son asking you to come see the impressive turd he just made and making you take a picture of it? Nothing! 5:48 PM Jul 13th from Tweetie
  14. @gerber1701 Wow! That was terrible. But Max, Xander and I enjoyed listening to it. 1:43 PM Jul 3rd from Tweetie in reply to gerber1701
  15. I really need to get up and pick up my folded towels but I just don't have the heart to move my foot. http://yfrog.com/0jsspej 9:28 AM Jul 3rd from Tweetie
  16. I love getting pedicures! My feet feel like they are wrapped in fluffy little clouds! 5:21 PM Jul 1st from Tweetie
  17. The truck in front of me at BK had a sticker on his welding machine that said "I <3 vagina". Darn iPhone camera with no zoom function! 4:55 PM Jun 29th from Tweetie
  18. Everytime I watch CSI NY I find myself yelling, "you get 'em, Lieutenant Dan!" 2:55 PM Jun 29th from Tweetie
  19. About to go to bed after drinking a large strong coffee. Can't wait to see what caffeine induced nightmares are waiting for me. 7:41 PM Jun 27th from Tweetie
  20. Found out today I passed step one to be a Jazzercise instructor. Final step is in September. Color me excited! 3:33 PM Jun 26th from Tweetie