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momma_michelle

  1. If you want to buy a strand of Michael Jackson's hair, I've got a Madonna pap smear for sale.
  2. I dodged the bullet and was not chosen for jury duty. I'm taking my $37 and going home.
  3. Nothing like a little Whitesnake in the morning.
  4. Just had my first mammogram. In a word: weird.
  5. @gerber1701 He is going to get his ass kicked!
  6. What would I rather be doing than sitting in a doctor's waiting room? Let me think...
  7. I have a sunburn on my wrists and the backs of my hands from applying sunscreen, washing my hands, and then cutting my grass. I'm an idiot.
  8. @bonimaroni1 yes, but just the back yard because she drank cheap wine while cutting the front yard and was too tipsy to finish.
  9. Just told my kids that their great grandma's first name was Fortuna. They may never stop laughing.
  10. If you try the bathroom door knob and it's locked, why would you knock? Do you really need any more confirmation that someone is in here?
  11. @gerber1701 did we buy that?
  12. @Brooksbh I was going to but I deleted it after showing Gerald. Sorry you missed out.
  13. What's better than your son asking you to come see the impressive turd he just made and making you take a picture of it? Nothing!
  14. @gerber1701 Wow! That was terrible. But Max, Xander and I enjoyed listening to it.
  15. I really need to get up and pick up my folded towels but I just don't have the heart to move my foot. http://yfrog.com/0jsspej
  16. I love getting pedicures! My feet feel like they are wrapped in fluffy little clouds!
  17. The truck in front of me at BK had a sticker on his welding machine that said "I <3 vagina". Darn iPhone camera with no zoom function!
  18. Everytime I watch CSI NY I find myself yelling, "you get 'em, Lieutenant Dan!"
  19. About to go to bed after drinking a large strong coffee. Can't wait to see what caffeine induced nightmares are waiting for me.
  20. Found out today I passed step one to be a Jazzercise instructor. Final step is in September. Color me excited!