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Moltz

@jessieshmessie That's a typo. He meant "disturbing".about 8 hours ago from web in reply to jessieshmessie
Grant's level of interest in the chew toys available to him lead us to one undeniable conclusion: the poodle's natural enemy is the octopus.about 10 hours ago from web
@AmyJane Boy his age? I'd say it's exactly the right week.about 13 hours ago from web in reply to AmyJane
I hear she's resigning to spend more time with Hillary voters.about 15 hours ago from web
@kdbdallas I'm wearing eight right now!about 15 hours ago from web in reply to kdbdallas
BREAKING: PALIN RESIGNING. ADMITS SHE'S ADDICTED TO PROM CORSAGES. http://tinyurl.com/kutxmpabout 15 hours ago from web
@negrino And full of cars! a sea of beautiful, shining cars from Canada to Oregon!about 18 hours ago from Birdfeed in reply to negrino
Sitting in Seattle traffic really wanting to throat-punch Tim Eyman.about 19 hours ago from Birdfeed
For @jimray http://tr.im/qHfQ6:14 PM Jul 2nd from web
Is there some kind of underground, no-holds-barred Thai tantrum-throwing circuit? Because my boy is ready.10:42 PM Jul 1st from Birdfeed
@Mike_FTW But you're so much better at it than we are. Do you offer any kind of a seminar?8:45 AM Jul 1st from Birdfeed in reply to Mike_FTW
These next few days of taking care of the boy are going to be like retirement! Not knowing what day it is and praying for a quick death.8:32 AM Jul 1st from Birdhouse
I could never make a coffee joke this late. It'd keep me up all night. ... Ah, fuck.10:21 PM Jun 30th from Birdfeed
@ShawnKing Like Paul Shaffer, I invite that ass kicking. (Partly because I know she won't be mobile for 2-3 weeks.)12:33 PM Jun 30th from web in reply to ShawnKing
All done. On her way to recovery room. No surprises. Looks like all that energy got through. Thanks, everyone.12:24 PM Jun 30th from web
@viskar Thanks. When she wakes up I'm going to tell her there's a guy on Twitter in Norway who sends his best. Really.12:03 PM Jun 30th from Birdfeed in reply to viskar
@videoalex Oh, man. I'm sorry I mentioned anything. My best to your loved ones during these troubled times.11:08 AM Jun 30th from web in reply to videoalex
Doctor just came out - one down, one to go, all good. Phew. Now I can go pee.10:45 AM Jun 30th from Birdfeed
Nurse came out and told the guy next to me his wife did great. I resisted the urge to say "That's nice, but my wife is going to do better."10:26 AM Jun 30th from web
@sween The plural is actually "Moltzus II - The Quickening". There's a funny Ellis Island story behind that.9:03 AM Jun 30th from Birdfeed in reply to sween