Modiggs1976
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Why Burger King is less popular than McDonald's: absolute monarchies don't work!
about 13 hours ago
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Good news: I'm losing weight. Bad news: my pants are dropping which makes me look like a fat, perverted gangsta wannabe.
9:34 AM Nov 23rd
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If I jump off a bridge I'm gonna wear a diver's suit in case I change my mind on the way down.
7:57 AM Nov 21st
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Scientists are saying the moon has water (in case the sun decides to mess with it).
9:07 AM Nov 19th
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A beard that points to your chest is evil because it points downward. Insert gay joke here.
9:32 AM Nov 18th
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Spielberg and Hanks: stop making WWII shows. They should make an HBO miniseries called "WWII" with the sequels "WWII II" and "WWII Too."
10:51 AM Nov 17th
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I'm not saying I'm from a broken home but in first grade I said "1+1=bullshit."
11:26 AM Nov 13th
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Thanks for the RT @
11:25 AM Nov 13th
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Lou Dobbs left CNN. When asked where he was going, Dobbs said, "To the bathroom in the middle of the night for the rest of my life."
10:34 AM Nov 13th
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The only thing sadder than wanting feedback for a status update is looking wistfully at the halcyon days of well-received FaceTweet quips
1:19 PM Nov 12th
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You can't watch vampire movies with a vampire because he'll be offended by all the vampire stereotypes. All those white people in whiteface!
11:14 AM Nov 12th
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I love mob movies. So much when I hear doo-wop on the radio at work I wanna kiss my co-workers on the cheek and break their thumbs.
11:53 AM Nov 10th
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I am so proud of my professional beard.
11:16 AM Nov 10th
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Smoke detectors are used to remind you how lazy you are when it comes to changing batteries.
10:51 AM Nov 10th
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Can't we make a chocolate-strawberry candy bar already? Get off the couch, science!
11:33 AM Nov 9th
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True story: right now I am listening to "Dueling Banjos" and someone is screaming. I thought I asked for squealing!
9:30 AM Nov 9th
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Facebook told me to check up on my college friend. Facebook has officially become my mother.
9:35 AM Nov 6th
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@ Maybe they'll change their name to ShaveYourFaceBook
9:34 AM Nov 6th
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in reply to ElizMcQuern
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Rap's so filthy now. Remember when it was wholesome? Songs like "Put It In Your Mouth," "Pop that Pussy," "Dreams of Fuckin' an R&B Dick"?
9:05 AM Nov 5th
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@ I am uncomfortable that you are tweeting about me in front of me
9:05 AM Nov 5th
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in reply to curlycomedy
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- Name Mo
- Location New York
- Web http://www.modigg...
- Bio I am a contributor for The Apiary and Dead Frog. I tell jokes. I am a stunt double for Sinbad.
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