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mimismartypants

  1. Baseball and Judaism and other things: http://mimismartypants.com
  2. New entry: http://mimismartypants.com. Also check the previous entry, because I think I forgot to alert Twitter to the drama of BOOK BEAST.
  3. Hey guess what? Chicken butt. Also, change your bookmarks to mimismartypants.com and check there for the story as to why and how.
  4. What made the yarmulke teenagers think it would be fun to ride around in a convertible? One hand clamped atop head = supercool.
  5. Written on a combination of Sudafed and herbal tea, I believe this is called a "speedball": http://smartypants.diarylan...
  6. Tried to Google for the local dry cleaner's hours and accidentally typed DEVIANT CROSS-DRESSING GOAT SEX, oh well it happens to all of us.
  7. Amazon had the nerve to recommend some book called "Life Is A Verb." Amazon Is Nuts and Some Authors Is Ungrammatical.
  8. "How does it feel to be wrong all the time?" <-----question I did not ask in the meeting.
  9. Of course the day I have to tell an IT guy my password is the day that it happens to be "nude4satan."
  10. Vet said rabies vaccine might make my cat "lethargic." A lethargic cat, gosh! I will be sure to watch for that very alarming symptom.
  11. They didn't want it but I wrote it anyway: http://smartypants.diarylan...
  12. I just saw a tourist take a photo of a mailbox. Where are you from that doesn't have mailboxes?
  13. New entry complete with 1980s earworm: http://smartypants.diarylan....
  14. Three scariest words: "Kindergarten talent show."
  15. Well that was enigmatic. Meant to say: disturbed to see pigeons fighting over chicken bone.
  16. Disturbed
  17. I have trip-to-the-dentist anxiety so I am distracting myself with typing. http://smartypants.diarylan...
  18. What's new? You'll be sorry you asked. http://smartypants.diarylan...
  19. Cookbook says: "Croutons can be prepared in advance." Really, stale bread is not a last-minute dish? You don't say.
  20. Your "song of sixpence" sucked. And wtf is this in your pocket, rye? [grabs, glugs] Ahh. Put the bird pie in the trash, let's go get nachos.