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mimismartypants

  1. Baseball and Judaism and other things: http://mimismartypants.com1:52 PM Jul 11th from web
  2. New entry: http://mimismartypants.com. Also check the previous entry, because I think I forgot to alert Twitter to the drama of BOOK BEAST.3:38 PM Jul 9th from web
  3. Hey guess what? Chicken butt. Also, change your bookmarks to mimismartypants.com and check there for the story as to why and how.9:15 AM Jul 3rd from web
  4. What made the yarmulke teenagers think it would be fun to ride around in a convertible? One hand clamped atop head = supercool.6:12 PM Jul 2nd from web
  5. Written on a combination of Sudafed and herbal tea, I believe this is called a "speedball": http://smartypants.diarylan...1:03 PM Jul 1st from web
  6. Tried to Google for the local dry cleaner's hours and accidentally typed DEVIANT CROSS-DRESSING GOAT SEX, oh well it happens to all of us.7:51 AM Jul 1st from web
  7. Amazon had the nerve to recommend some book called "Life Is A Verb." Amazon Is Nuts and Some Authors Is Ungrammatical.9:20 AM Jun 30th from web
  8. "How does it feel to be wrong all the time?" <-----question I did not ask in the meeting.10:53 AM Jun 26th from web
  9. Of course the day I have to tell an IT guy my password is the day that it happens to be "nude4satan."4:17 AM Jun 23rd from web
  10. Vet said rabies vaccine might make my cat "lethargic." A lethargic cat, gosh! I will be sure to watch for that very alarming symptom.3:37 PM Jun 20th from web
  11. They didn't want it but I wrote it anyway: http://smartypants.diarylan...8:52 AM Jun 19th from web
  12. I just saw a tourist take a photo of a mailbox. Where are you from that doesn't have mailboxes?11:19 AM Jun 15th from web
  13. New entry complete with 1980s earworm: http://smartypants.diarylan....1:23 PM Jun 9th from web
  14. Three scariest words: "Kindergarten talent show."7:17 AM Jun 9th from web
  15. Well that was enigmatic. Meant to say: disturbed to see pigeons fighting over chicken bone.2:30 PM Jun 8th from txt
  16. Disturbed2:28 PM Jun 8th from txt
  17. I have trip-to-the-dentist anxiety so I am distracting myself with typing. http://smartypants.diarylan...11:18 AM Jun 4th from web
  18. What's new? You'll be sorry you asked. http://smartypants.diarylan...12:03 PM Jun 1st from web
  19. Cookbook says: "Croutons can be prepared in advance." Really, stale bread is not a last-minute dish? You don't say.10:12 AM Jun 1st from web
  20. Your "song of sixpence" sucked. And wtf is this in your pocket, rye? [grabs, glugs] Ahh. Put the bird pie in the trash, let's go get nachos.2:33 AM Jun 1st from web