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mileskahn

  1. My mother looks like Shelly Long. I'm not sure how this makes me feel.
  2. I've escaped my VT rental long enough to find WiFi at a Brugger's Bagel shop 19 miles away. I'm like an old timey pioneer out here.
  3. My rental house in VT is haunted. Their technique: annoy the tenants by making noise that sounds like the boiler working.
  4. My Japanese sex swing has straps, not bars. (@AlisonRosen: Sometimes I go flying over handlebars when I'm not even riding a bike)
  5. @AlisonRosen if you don't fly over your handlebars at least once, you're doing it wrong.
  6. Eggs (+ cheese), stretching, flying over handlebars of bike, mud, hot tub, rabbit, scotch. All is well.
  7. Turn on C-Span (@michaelianblack: Screw "New Moon;" I want to see a movie about fat, lazy, stupid vampires.)
  8. Is it War on Christmas already?
  9. Should we all be bracing for Beloved II?
  10. @jennakimjones Damn. Sorry. Follow @jennakimjones, not @jennajones who I'm a assuming isn't even a person.
  11. #FF @swish, @alisonrosen, @youngamerican, @sayjessay, @timcarvell, @jennajones and me. Don't ever stop following me. Ever.
  12. TDS Fridays before break weeks are quiet affairs. We usually just sit around, do some writing and piss on effigies of Glenn Beck.
  13. Yes. And I will be slacking on my bike in VT. I rule. (@SmartSlink:TDS is in re-runs now till after T-giving? Total slackers)
  14. You had me at "inflatable" (@awryone: Inflatable Sex Pizza.)
  15. I do. Mind you, I was referring to a sex robot. But apologies, nonetheless. (@ms_treesap: You know that 'tranny' is an insult, right?)
  16. Honey, do you have the receipt for my Japanese sex robot? They accidentally sent me the Tranny Jackson model. http://bit.ly/KEvL4
  17. RT @swish: Need to Find Married Gay Couple(s) that live in Texas. Any of you know anyone? Please DM me. Thanks!
  18. I'm listening to Cat Stevens' "Miles From Nowhere" completely irony-free. Suck on it.
  19. My Grandpa emailed me a link for a new kind of Bayer aspirin with the subject "Heart Attack." Where's my TV deal, CBS?
  20. Finally. Someone gets it. (@jibletbean: @mileskahn. You're an idiot.)