@onedmc This is England.

@onedmc haha, that's mint. He's got no food but he's got his colours sorted. My count so far is 4 major productions, shown worldwide, etc.

@onedmc Full Monty was again the other night. How many feature films has the blades shirt been in? I bet its more than Man Utds.

@onedmc Everytime I see 'arry I think first of his "No, I'm not a wheeler and dealer at all, fack off" and then you laughing at his twitches

A toaster with > a 0.4 sec intervention window between warm sweaty bread and bellowing slab of charred tephra is our next evolutionary step.

@onedmc Dean-o! Dean-o! Dean no. Haha, last time I talked to you man city were starting joey barton.

At making a word perfect I'm so word perfect that the word perfect must word perfect till it's a word perfect to describe each word perfect.

W. H. Auden's grandchild with Michael Jordan's hangtime so Zuckerburg can't compile a timeline that spans time.

I can go from light to dark quicker than hijab tanlines, ☚ that's why my tweets are banned live by one sixth of mankind.

I'm damn fine, one at a time, form an orderly fan line, God rested damn tired cause he made talent... and mine.

I handglide drivebys on deaf guys with landmines, a scrambled mind throwing up gang signs to the damn blind.

Attempting the whole 'smart ass' thing without the prior honing of a even partially lucid ass can often be problematic, huh?

Is the sky blue? *Sunlight* appears to scatter an illusion of white-cyan + invisible reds during daytime. But gas has no body/colour. So no.

Is water wet? Wetting requires the adhesive intermolecular interaction of a cohesive liquid with an external, previously dry solid. So no.

Do bears shit in the woods? Predominantly North American, no. Forests. During hibernation - caves, if at all. In the Antarctic, never.

Does the Pope wear a beanie? No he wears a mitre. Il zucchetto (skullcap) is worn by lower clergy, not by the Bishop of Rome. Next?

Is the Pope a catholic? No. Leader of the *Roman* (major stip) Catholic Church. Logically 1 can't abide self effect. Was Jesus a Christian?

Only allowed 140 characters because we're true to our phone/handheld ethos. Now hold tight while we load the Library of Alexandria. @twitter

The star-spangled banner shall triumph as führer, o'er the land of the obese, home of the mass consumer. #MisheardSongLyrics

TV on = Servile Contentment. TV off = Servile Contention. Don't you just hate it when Content gets a ment/tion? Go watch Pop Idol.