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MikeDurrett

New CONFIDENTIAL: Big Weekend http://bit.ly/1xXCgQ about 8 hours ago from twitterfeed
Headline: "Dunkin Donuts now serves tuna." ... Um, yes, I'd like a raspberry-filled fish, Dunkaccino with scales, and a bone in my cruller. 9:02 PM Nov 14th from web
New CONFIDENTIAL: Main Title: 'Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex but Were Afraid .. http://bit.ly/1d7GZd 6:02 PM Nov 14th from twitterfeed
New CONFIDENTIAL: Fare Thee Well, The Rockettes Need Me... http://bit.ly/DW9E8 9:32 PM Nov 12th from twitterfeed
New CONFIDENTIAL: Off the Wall http://bit.ly/islNc 1:34 PM Nov 12th from twitterfeed
@gordonshumway sez "Unless U R a particularly destructive gopher, there's no reason you should have the CADDYSHACK theme as your ringtone." 1:23 PM Nov 12th from web in reply to gordonshumway
I come to you today with an apology. For decades, I have confused the epiglottis with the uvula. Alas, I learn. My life is now blemished. 9:05 AM Nov 11th from web
New CONFIDENTIAL: Mikellaneous http://bit.ly/4ylp5f 8:03 AM Nov 11th from twitterfeed
@NuttyNewswire reports: "School bans word: 'meep.'" ... Theyep haveep gotep toep beep kiddingep meep. http://bit.ly/2RVVod 11:09 PM Nov 10th from web in reply to NuttyNewswire
On TV: BACK FROM ETERNITY. Great movie. At least, it didn't leave me dangling like UVULA FROM ETERNITY. 8:37 AM Nov 10th from web
New CONFIDENTIAL: Thoughts During 'The 101 Dalmatians Musical' - We wuz dognapped. http://is.gd/4RwEC 11:49 PM Nov 9th from web
New CONFIDENTIAL: "Big Weekend" -- You gotta see the groom's cake photo. Yum. http://bit.ly/4ynfRd 1:23 PM Nov 9th from web
@DanaJGould sez: "Before there were Children Of The Corn, there had to have been Toddlers Of The Corn. 'Never has terror been so adorable.'" 12:22 PM Nov 9th from web in reply to DanaJGould
Sometimes my voice mail says, "Are you still there?" ... I hate it when the hired help gets snippy. 10:38 AM Nov 8th from web
Reading: "Officials Confirm Iowa Cat Has H1N1 Flu." Goodness, gracious! That explains Morty in the kitty HazMat suit. ... http://is.gd/4O0VU 7:55 AM Nov 6th from web
Headline: "Man says image of Jesus appears on truck window." Obviously, we travel in different circles. I scrape Madonna off my shoes. 8:49 AM Nov 5th from web
Headline: "Blockbuster worker stabs self to avoid going to work." ... Please be kind, don't rebind. 6:00 PM Nov 4th from web
Here's my nite via @MoviesOnTCM: Celebrate a titan of movie tunes! The new documentary JOHNNY MERCER: THE DREAM’S ON ME debuts at 8 ET & 12! 1:49 PM Nov 4th from web
Reading: Funny & Strange Japanese Inventions: http://bit.ly/EP9Ex via @DesignerDepot. Must have Cat Dusters. Wish for Cat Closet Organizer. 12:23 PM Nov 4th from web
Headline: "Man caught stuffing sausages down his pants." ... Yipe. This may be the first outbreak of the Swine Screw. 12:06 PM Nov 4th from web

Name Mike Durrett
Location I Am Here, USA.
Web http://mikedurret...
Bio Big kid, husband, cat wrangler, writer: wrote/produced About.com Humor/Web Humor 1998-2009. My personal acts of heroism appear @ Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL.