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michaelianblack

  1. I'm not saying it's right but I definitely understand why some animals eat their young.about 16 hours ago from web
  2. As a joke, I think doctors should put somebody's appendix back in.7:42 PM Nov 7th from WitStream
  3. Wondering if my life would be better if I had buns of steel. My conclusion: yes. By a lot.11:39 AM Nov 7th from web
  4. Will be eating buffalo wings in Buffalo today. So much better than saying I will be eating them in buffaloes. That would be gross.8:50 AM Nov 7th from WitStream
  5. Nothing to say this early on a weekend morning, so I'll just fall back on my old standby: JEWS!!!5:47 AM Nov 7th from WitStream
  6. Can we change the word "addiction" to "enthusiasm?" As in: "I have an alcohol enthusiasm?" It just sounds nicer.4:08 PM Nov 6th from web
  7. If I had a parrot I would teach it to say, "I'm not just a god damned mimic! I have my own thoughts!" Then I would teach it to cry.8:26 AM Nov 6th from web
  8. When I die I hope they bury me in an ice cream truck; then I hope they sell ice cream from that truck and not tell anybody I'm in it.8:53 PM Nov 5th from web
  9. Sometimes when I poo I'm pretend I'm having a baby out my butt. Then I flush and whisper, "Bye, bye baby."4:10 PM Nov 5th from web
  10. Applesauce is made out of apples. Why isn't spaghetti sauce made out of spaghetti?12:53 PM Nov 5th from web
  11. Bananas are God's way of reminding us about penises. Thanks, God!5:54 AM Nov 5th from web
  12. Yankees are about to win World Series!!! My life is about to not change at all!!!8:25 PM Nov 4th from web
  13. @cecilseaskull Congrats - awesome cover.12:24 PM Nov 4th from web in reply to cecilseaskull
  14. @awesometrousers I'm also creeped out by your shirt. But it's the best possible way to be creeped out.12:18 PM Nov 4th from web in reply to awesometrousers
  15. "Michael & Michael Have Issues" tonight on Comedy Central at 9:30. It's like Jeff Dunham, only w/o him or his stupid fucking puppets.11:06 AM Nov 4th from web
  16. Is it possible to use the word "half–pipe" in a sentence without also using the word "dude?"10:17 AM Nov 4th from WitStream
  17. Just watched the wonderful "By the People." Good job, America. Now back to fucking shit up.8:22 PM Nov 3rd from web
  18. My son is reading this over my shoulder. Hey busybody, I'm not your real dad.4:37 PM Nov 3rd from web
  19. @DaveSFoley Hi Dave! I want to say I missed you but I honestly didn't realize you were gone.1:02 PM Nov 3rd from web in reply to DaveSFoley
  20. Idea for Hasbro: "Scratch-N-Sniff Scrabble."12:42 PM Nov 3rd from web