mertonsussex
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Adam Lambert? Empty shock value is worthless. If it was beneath Freddie Mercury, you shouldn't do it either. Talent always trumps sexuality.
about 15 hours ago
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As a kid, I used to wonder where the purple went when I drank grape juice. I figured it out the first time I banged my knee on an end table.
1:18 PM Nov 23rd
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I tried "living each day like it's my last" for awhile, but lying in bed with a morphine drip, shitting in a chamber pot? That got old fast.
11:46 AM Nov 20th
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I've pinpointed the precise moment you become "old": It's the very second that you begin to see naps as a reward rather than a punishment.
3:11 PM Nov 19th
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I'm always amused when parents who tell their kids "never talk to strangers" expect them NOT to howl bloody murder in Mall-Santa lap photos.
11:31 AM Nov 18th
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My pathetic attempts to grab the notice of @ continue. Another webcomic arc that features him is here:
2:11 PM Nov 17th
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Continuing my sudden theme of @ dispatches, here's a great webcomic that references him quite cleverly:
2:07 PM Nov 17th
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According to CNN, Tweets can be libel. In that case, @ is a big jerk, and he smells like cheese! Okay...so I just wanna meet him.
2:04 PM Nov 17th
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"Experts" say the amount of L-tryptophan in turkey isn't enough to induce sleep. Yet, every Thanksgiving, there I sit...snoring at dessert.
12:33 PM Nov 16th
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Irony: The GOP'ers who are all upset about Miss Homophobia's solo sex tape are the same ones who'd LOVE to watch her double-click her mouse.
12:18 PM Nov 13th
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I'm not into dudes sexually. Even so, I'd gladly look at Levi Johnston's penis if it'll help make Sarah Palin's day just a little bit worse.
11:10 AM Nov 13th
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Japanese porn proves it: The more repressed a culture is, the weirder shit it takes to get it off. I just wonder what Puritan porn was like.
11:18 AM Nov 12th
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Fast-food contests that encourage consumption to win ought to have more appropriate prizes. "All I need is Boardwalk for free liposuction."
10:51 AM Nov 11th
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I had a great dream. In it, everyone knew that 'a lot' was two words, while 'irregardless' and 'winningest' are actually zero words apiece.
6:02 PM Nov 10th
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I synced Twitter with Facebook to post tandem updates. Now I'm a geek blue belt. To go green, I have to start compiling my own Linux coding.
9:49 AM Nov 9th
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Walgreen's has had Christmas shit out since September. They live in the future! If they start stocking gas masks? Get your affairs in order.
9:42 AM Nov 9th
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Anyone who cooks Tater Tots in anything other than a deep fryer is truly missing out on one of the simplest, most sublime joys in the world.
7:36 PM Nov 7th
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Forgot forgot the gunpowder plot / That happened on November 5 / I'm thinking that Fawkes has forgiven me though / For he is no longer alive
7:37 AM Nov 6th
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So far, the internet has eaten: newspapers, encyclopedias, albums, Polaroids, magazines, postal service, film industry, the yellow pages...
8:45 PM Nov 3rd
from UberTwitter
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I do not use hashtags. I do not respond with "at" signs. I do not "re-tweet." I may be a trend-sucker, but at least I'm rebellious about it.
3:22 PM Nov 3rd
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- Name Merton Sussex
- Location Minneapolis, MN
- Web http://www.diaryo...
- Bio I write ad copy. Also, I blog at DiaryOfFools.com. You should go read it. And yeah...I'm not exactly ASKING.
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