meresoneliners
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"Coffee makes me want to run to vermont. I hate it."
4:30 PM Jul 16th
from web
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Reading a billboard-John: buzz driving is drunk driving. Mere: not if your last name is Lightyear.
5:59 PM Jul 5th
from Tweetie
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"I feel like we're at a carnival and we need to eat some stuff." 2 seconds later: "Mmm sausage!"
6:26 PM Jun 14th
from Tweetie
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"The baby's gonna have a UTI."
9:13 AM May 3rd
from Tweetie
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After surgery: "I've been rufied."
12:39 PM Apr 9th
from Tweetie
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After Mere honks at someone: John - "They're Jesus lovers". Mere - "Me too, but I honk a little."
4:12 PM Apr 2nd
from Tweetie
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"Where's a scapula? I know where my spatula is."
11:22 PM Jan 2nd
from Twittelator
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"I've driven one. Smooth as a glacier."
5:28 PM Sep 7th, 2008
from web
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"Puppies and tattoos are really similar. Once you get one, you never stop getting 'em."
10:29 PM Jul 21st, 2008
from web
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"Deaf cleaning ladies are a good time."
9:22 PM Jul 15th, 2008
from web
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"Your arm is so hot, it's like, running a fever."
9:42 PM Jun 26th, 2008
from txt
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"Ew. Did something just die on me?"
4:59 PM Jun 25th, 2008
from txt
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"No lie. Now my pee smells like pancakes."
11:00 PM Jun 24th, 2008
from txt
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"Eww, did he get peck implants? That's my favorite accusation."
10:42 PM Jun 24th, 2008
from web
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"My brakes sound terrible. I ran over like 6 birds today."
7:17 AM Jun 24th, 2008
from web
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"I am being normal, that's what I do."
7:13 AM Jun 24th, 2008
from web
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"With it raining and all, I don't feel like we really need to be handling cardboard."
7:12 AM Jun 24th, 2008
from web
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"I'm just trying to piece it together...like Pangea."
7:12 AM Jun 24th, 2008
from web
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