meowrey
-
Happy Thanksgiving! I'm making a DELICIOUS dairy-free pecan pie! Ingredients: 1 cup molasses, 1/4 cup Earth Balance, 3/4 cup self-delusion.
9:12 AM Nov 26th
from web
-
Me: We don't own a toaster, so if it's cool, I'm just gonna pop this bread in the oven... Smoke alarm: OH MY GOD, HAVE YOU SEEN BACKDRAFT?!
12:16 PM Nov 21st
from Birdfeed
-
I'm just making oven fries, but our overly eager smoke detector apparently thinks I'm making charred Cajun wedges of towering inferno death.
11:58 AM Nov 21st
from Birdfeed
-
I guess I saw a new-style RT from @? Either that, or @ is "human waste" who needs to GET HIS TWITTER ACCOUNT TOGETHER!
11:38 AM Nov 18th
from web
-
Text Message of the Day, from my stepdad @ at a Smokey Robinson concert: "Now he is taking back 'Cruisin'' from that slut Gwyneth."
8:37 PM Nov 7th
from Birdfeed
-
Does your cube ever get that *not-so-fresh* feeling? Grab some seltzer, absentmindedly shake, open over keyboard. Poland Spring Desk Douche!
11:07 AM Nov 5th
from web
-
Dudes, @ is in SF! You know what that means: KEGGER AT MY PLACE! That's where I pound a keg, sing "All By Myself," and pass out bawling.
3:34 PM Nov 4th
from web
-
I think I've managed to decode Starbucks' coffee lingo. "LightNote Blend®" stands for "This one tastes the least like wet, charred grounds."
9:58 AM Nov 3rd
from web
-
My Hickory Farms gift got shifted in the office fridge. FINALLY, a work context where it's literally apropos to ask: "Who moved my cheese?"
7:50 AM Nov 3rd
from web
-
Loving Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road' so far, but may have to stop reading it on the L train. Unless I can figure out how to sob "ironically."
6:58 PM Oct 20th
from web
-
Late on my Halloween costume planning this year. Maybe I'll just throw on everything I own and say I'm a Lucky magazine piece on "layering."
8:05 AM Oct 15th
from web
-
Buzz: I just signed you up for an invitation to Google Wave. Me: Oh, goody! Now I can hate on it from inside of it!
9:04 PM Oct 2nd
from web
-
My vacation to Kauai wasn't nearly long enough!
6:34 PM Oct 1st
from Birdhouse
-
I'd like to suggest a few new "Ironic" lyrics for Alanis' consideration: "It's like a friggin' tsunami warning on your Hawaiian vacation."
1:27 PM Sep 29th
from Birdfeed
-
My coral-colored lip gloss perfectly matches the shade of my angry, raw, thermonuclear sunburn. Vacation Bingo!
11:31 AM Sep 27th
from Birdfeed
-
I like my ice like I like my women: shaved, with flavored syrups on top.
6:54 PM Sep 26th
from Birdfeed
-
Whole office is suddenly diseased, like the damn Oregon Trail exploded up in here. Hope I don't die of cholera trying to ford the cafeteria.
10:26 AM Sep 22nd
from web
-
@ Larson's "Devil in the White City": unique subjects, clever structure, read like a novel, gave me nightmares.
9:14 AM Sep 14th
from web
-
Lunch watching the Eagles at a sports bar, then Inglourious Basterds. Think Dad's trying to salvage his masculinity after my last tweet.
12:37 PM Sep 13th
from Birdhouse
-
Me? I'm kicking back, watching He's Just Not That Into You with my Pops. You know, the usual Saturday night. What's up with you, girlfriend?
10:29 PM Sep 12th
from Birdhouse
|
- Name Meowrey
- Location With the tumbling tumbleweed
- Web http://hysterical...
- Bio Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar...well, he eats you.
|
