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melissasantos

  1. my biggest challenge at work is not gawking at the size of some of these south Floridian women's breasts. about 17 hours ago via web
  2. i ask you to do one little thing -- take out the trash -- & you can't even do that. it's like you don't understand a word i say, chihuahua. 8:25 AM May 30th via web
  3. someone please drive @marcialsantos on a cross-country vacation so he can live tweet it. 9:30 AM May 25th via web
  4. "NO" means "wait until she's on the toilet & can't stop me" in dog. 7:02 AM May 25th via web
  5. @fakeedgarsantos @apate amanda's biscuits sounds like the start of a lovely weekend. & also like a punk rock band name. 6:14 AM May 25th via web in reply to fakeedgarsantos
  6. it's time Americans stopped giving their dogs stripper names. 5:50 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  7. so many VIPs calling my direct line & begging for reservations, i don't even have time to eat my kashi granola bar. maître d'ing ain't easy. 9:30 PM May 14th via Twitter for iPhone
  8. my one-sentence review of the vegan restaurant, sublime: fuck that shit; where's the beef? 8:13 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. what's the best way to pin your eyebrows back when you're growing them out? 2:33 PM Apr 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. men are intoxicated by my alluring scent of burnt polyester & fingernail polish. 11:59 AM Apr 27th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. my first post from florida: chefandnovice.com/2012/04/25/im-…. i am of course wearing sky-high heels at a publix while i type this. 3:34 PM Apr 25th via web
  12. my chihuahua is an excellent watch dog. when i teach her to shoot a rifle, she'll be an excellent guard dog, too. 8:04 AM Apr 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. i'm the fastest runner in south florida. suck it, senior citizens! 7:51 AM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. there are no hipsters in fort lauderdale. i've found heaven. 9:33 AM Apr 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. terrible news this am. @raldowntowner's home / our magazine's office was destroyed by a fire. help him out, raleigh. wral.com/news/news_brie… 7:05 AM Apr 18th via web
  16. things i love about ft lauderdale: 1. i was hired on the spot at the 1st place i applied. 2. hostessing pays the same as editing in raleigh. 3:24 PM Apr 9th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. went on an eating tour of miami last night. now i know why all the women have healthy butts there. 7:04 AM Apr 9th via web
  18. the D'Auvray don'ts: use this photo & associate him with buku. read as she does both! Thasos Taverna to Open in May - blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/cleanplatechar… 7:02 AM Apr 9th via Tweet Button
  19. miami playing on the way to miami. it's a sign! ... that i need to find a better radio station in florida. 5:35 PM Apr 7th via Twitter for iPhone
  20. finally unpacked the kitchen so @WilliamDAuvray doesn't have to eat his cereal out of my cupped hands anymore. 6:08 AM Apr 6th via Twitter for iPhone
  • Name melissa
  • Location so flo aka south florida
  • Web http://chefandnov...
  • Bio writer, editor. i have all my shots & am toilet-trained.
126 Following 2,631 Followers 229 Listed
summerofbenny Addison Ghetto Hikes Brooks Wood TheChef&The Novice William D'Auvray L.A. Times Food Meowrey PDK boxcarr farms food Vin Rouge Bistro Foodable Serrone Patton Oswalt Conan O'Brien amanda! Matt Ufford Found Shows Diana Santos Johnson Nelson Betancourt matt stone Laura Noah Gray Amos Baynes Matt Allard ganderful naïf Ivan Howard Tony Delgrosso Aaron Durand Rita Marie Will Gibbs Jonathan Sloan dr wolcheck MJ Michael Pierce ruthakers